Karina, a Waiting Child

As a single parent, ready to embark on my second adoption journey, I knew I had a long, emotional road ahead of me. My son Mitchell, adopted at birth 12 years ago, was 11 when I asked him how he would feel about adopting a little sister. I knew if he wasn’t 100% ready, I wouldn’t be able to proceed. We talked about the pros and cons of having a sibling and what it would mean to our family. Mitchell decided he wanted to sleep on it before giving me his final answer. The next morning his first word was “YES”!

With my son as my main support, I completed the application for the Kazakhstan program through Children’s Hope International and we waited for approval before telling the rest of the family our plans.

Depending on which country is chosen, the wait for your referral can be excruciatingly long. I tried to prepare everyone for the long wait but after just a couple of months, the “Have you heard anything?” started. Mitchell was hoping his sister would be home by Christmas, but the holidays came and went without word. I knew our paperwork was making its way around the world but the waiting became harder and harder to bear.

Soon after we became a part of the Children’s Hope family, I had access to the Waiting Children website. This allows you to see some of the “hard to place” children. Although I had requested a child with only mild medical issues (preferably healthy), it became a daily ritual to view the children posted on the website. In January 2007, it finally happened. There was a picture of a tiny and frail little 13-month-old girl. The short description of her said: “difficulty of movement in her left leg”. The pictures showed her standing and receiving help as she tried to walk.

Something tugged at my heart, and I immediately sent an e-mail to Children’s Hope requesting her medical information.

Reviewing a Medical, a Life-Altering Decision

After a very long wait (it was only two weeks!), I received a one page medical. Her name was Karina and she was born on November 7, 2005, premature, although it was unclear as to how premature. When she was 7-weeks-old, she was taken to the Baby House of Taldykorgan. I later found out she weighed only 2 pounds at birth and was so frail when she reached the orphanage, they didn’t think she would make it. The report mentioned a few medical problems but didn’t give a real diagnosis on anything. I discussed her medical at length with both Jeff Morris and Anna Rister of Children’s Hope, with my son’s pediatrician and with my family. It’s so hard to know what to do without having the child in front of you to hold and observe. I listened to everyone’s thoughts and opinions and decided to just follow my heart—I knew I had to bring her home.

After making such an important decision, we then had to wait a couple more months to receive our travel dates. This process can really test ones strength and patience!

Once we arrived in Taldykorgan, we had one day to rest before the big day. Our CHI representative, interpreter and driver were with us the whole day as we met the officials of the city before receiving permission to visit the Baby House.

When we arrived, we were escorted to a room to wait some more, until finally Olga, our Children’s Hope representative, brought Karina to meet us. I had heard a lot of different things about what to expect during the first meeting but nothing really prepares you for it. Mitchell and I sat on the floor looking at her in Olga’s arms and she intently stared back - no tears. I guess she decided we were safe because when Olga put her down, she crawled right over to us and started touching Mitchell’s face and then my own. After that first moment of hesitancy, it was as if she had known us forever. We started our 14 day bonding period right then and it didn’t take long for her to become excited when she saw us walk in and then start to cry when it was time for us to leave.

Our three week trip turned into six. For those six weeks we went to the Baby House twice a day to visit with Karina and the rest of the babies in her group. Both Mitchell and I became attached, not only to Karina but to the other babies as well. All their faces would light up when they saw Mitchell walk in—they knew it was play time! They were always happy and laughing when we were there and Karina loved being able to play with the others while we were there to watch and join in.

After our court date, we went to say our goodbyes to Karina. I knew she didn’t know what was happening, but we did and it was very hard knowing it would be four to six weeks before I could bring her home. On June 22 we arrived home...and she has been ruling the household ever since!

I took her to the pediatrician the first week home and then to an orthopedic doctor to find out what was wrong with her leg. Guess what? Her left leg works just like the right leg and she is not only walking on her own but she is now running! Both doctors have declared her healthy other than needing to catch up with regard to her height and weight. She is still very tiny but she doesn’t notice it and thinks she is one of the big kids.

At Home with a Family

Karina loves pre-school and is coming up with new words every day. She has a wonderful relationship with her brother and they love to make each other laugh. Her new extended family gives her undivided attention and she has become quite the “showboat” when all eyes are on her.

I hope that anyone that is thinking of or is in the process of international adoption knows that it is a long, emotional and sometimes rough road but when you meet your son or daughter for the first time, all of the waiting and emotional highs and lows that you have experienced slip away and quickly become a distant memory.

There isn’t a day that goes by when I don’t think of all the babies we left behind. I hope and pray it doesn’t take long for them to find their forever families. Keep looking at the Waiting Children’s website while you wait for your paperwork to be processed—your son or daughter could be there waiting for you!

--Brenda, Mitchell & Karina Brewer, California

Left to Die, Destined to Live

In their book Saving Levi, Children’s Hope adoptive parent Lisa Bentley shares an absolutely inspirational story of a badly burned boy “left to die...destined to live”—their son Levi.

“When John was practicing law, we had the brand new house, the sports car, the minivan, the bonuses, the raises and I was pregnant with my forth child and I remember being upstairs in the bedroom thinking, ‘Lord if this is all there is to my faith, to my Christianity, it’s boring and it stinks.’”

When God answered Lisa Bentley’s prayer, he sent her to China. She did not know the language nor did she understand the culture. Was this truly the answer to her discontentment? Then she laid eyes on a little burned boy.

This boy, later named Levi (“to bind and unite”), would change her life and give her a heart for the Chinese people. This heart thrives today with the non-profit charity she runs with husband John. This charity, Harmony Outreach, serves all levels of the Chinese community but most importantly the “least of these”— orphaned children with special needs.

In saving Levi’s life there laid a question: How far does one go to save an orphaned child’s life? With third- to forth-degree burns afflicting over 70% of his entire body and blood infections requiring more and more amputations of his upper limbs—Levi was an extreme in a healing philosophy to bring orphans to health and into forever homes. Even if his initial surgeries were successful, he would require more skin grafts each year. Until he was fully developed, his growing bones would outstretch his scar tissue.

The Bentley’s mission is also Children’s Hope mission. On faith alone the Bentley’s took every measure to save Levi, with no monetary support or physical means necessary. Day by day they strode forward. Each day their feet landed on solid, supported ground.

Early on, their feet landed on Children’s Hope and Melody Zhang. Children’s Hope funded Levi’s first surgery in Beijing and later gave the Bentley’s their media opportunity in China to get the word out about Levi’s story.

Wherever his story was heard, people’s hearts were touched. From complimentary airfare, expedited Visa paperwork, to a simple twenty dollar bill—people were moved to action. Levi touched Lisa’s heart to act from day one. She knew he was meant to be hers. Her home would be the best hope for a full life for this little boy.

When she was able to adopt him as her own, she did so through Children’s Hope. As obstacles rose up and stood aside, one took anchor and brought the process to a standstill: the China Center for Adoption Affairs declared him too burned to be cared for through adoption. Melody took a stance in the name of this amazingly loving family. Levi was to become a Bentley.
This story is a linked chain of God-chosen people brought together to save one life. It is a story of encouragement in the hardest of times, of the strength in love within every person, and of the daring in courage of one.

In January, Focus on the Family interviewed John and Lisa Bentley, discussing Harmony Outreach and Saving Levi on their radio broadcast. To listen to this two-part moving broadcast and to hear the voice of parental inspiration, click below and be changed:

The Bentleys: A Radical Journey of Faith (Part 1/Part 2)
(Available for a limited time.)

To best benefit their cause, purchase the book Saving Levi via Lisa’s web site at www.Harmonyoutreach.org or at www.savinglevi.com. In 2007, Lisa will travel the U.S. on a Saving Levi book tour and signing and will speak at many venues across the nation. If you would like Lisa to share this amazing story and important mission of faith at your event, contact her by e-mail to speak with her directly.

--Lisa and John Bentley, China
Written by Jennifer Newcomb, Children's Hope Communications Coordinator

Green Light Go!--Russia Adoption of a Child with Hearing Impairment

When Hans Denis Graser was born, he was delivered with fluid in his lungs. Doctors in Russia diagnosed pneumonia and administered the appropriate antibiotic treatment. The drug’s effective dose was to be given over a period of time gradually, but in error the drug’s full dose was given all at once. In little Hans, the resulting action caused nerve deafness.

As is the custom for orphans in his region, Hans stayed in a baby hospital his first year, completely deaf and unable to hear. Ninety-nine percent of his life was spent in his crib and the little boy was given one diaper change a day. Upon graduation from the baby hospital, Hans moved to a “baby house” where he was unlikely to be adopted. His caretakers labeled him severely deaf and developmentally delayed.

“I’ve always thought Special Needs strictly meant mentally and physically handicapped kids,” says Heidi Graser, new mom to adorable “Jack” a.k.a. Hans Denis Graser.

“When I found out Russia considers deafness, cleft lip and cleft palate, burns, and things of that nature as special needs, I thought, ‘Those are not special needs! Those are fixable, workable maladies.’”

As a single prospective mother, Heidi took all this into consideration. Although it would mean additional personal attention, the more minor special needs Heidi felt she can handle. She applied to Children’s Hope International on December 1, 2005, choosing her country, region, age range, and the special needs she was open to. Her main goal—to find the one child with the slimmest chances of finding a home. She told her adoption coordinator, “I’m very well traveled. Send me where people don’t want to go because it is too far away.” She had the place—Vladivostok, nine hours by plane from Moscow.

Within the region she selected, Jack was the only child under 3 years of age afflicted with any of the special needs she was open to.

For Russia, you travel twice: once to see the child and verify your decision to adopt; the second, to attend court and finalize the process. Heidi began her first trip on April 13. Before leaving she took every single day, thinking, “Do I go or not go.”

“It wasn’t so much, ‘Is he right for me?’ but ‘Am I right for him?’”

Although she hoped it would not be necessary, knowing she had options was a great relief; if she and Jack were not a match, she could always return to the States and await another referral.

“I was prepared for Jack to be stone cold deaf. I had to get into that mental state before I traveled on that first trip.” What if it was more than she could handle? Would it matter if he could never hear her? What if the orphanage did not disclose his entire medical history and his development delay was due to another cause?

Heidi had never known anyone with a hearing impairment. Filled with doubt she consulted her adoption coordinator, family and friends. Talking through it got Heidi through it.

“We’d set up a pro and con list. He might just need hearing aids or implants, and we can always use sign language. We always had one or two positives to knock out the negatives.” Heidi explains, “You have to wrap your mind around it. My sister is pregnant right now, high risk. And I realized I could’ve given birth to a child with a hearing impairment or a child with a cleft lip. Would I love them any less? No, of course not, he or she would still be my child.”

In her first couple of days in Moscow, Heidi was overwhelmed with how to communicate with Jack. When he looked in her eyes and she in his, she saw there was no need to worry.

On the third day, after holding him emotionally at arms length, Heidi fell under Jack’s spell. Five months later she returned and took him home as her son.

“It’s so much easier than I ever thought it would be. That I was scared to even go meet him...seems silly now. It was the fear of the unknown.”

Now Heidi knows the unspeakable joy a child can bring. Tears well up in her eyes when she speaks of how Jack loves her. Communication is no problem. “He talks to me; he tells me what he wants. We communicate with looking in each other’s eyes, giving hugs, with kisses and pointing.

“Seeing a smile on his face is the best action without words. That’s how he says, ‘You’re mine.’”

Developmentally, Jack caught up quickly when given personal attention. Although his caregivers in Russia meant well, they never knew his potential. Jack is already developmentally on track with other kids his age.

Heidi’s pediatrician referred her to a multitude of resources for a child with special needs including home care, special tutors, First Steps, and Parents as Teachers. Jack now attends the St. Joseph Institute for the Deaf in St. Louis and sees professionals in audiology and ENT.

By the time Jack came home, Heidi had studied sign language. Jack picked up many words within their first month together. At first he stumbled down the stretch of her hallway, but now Jack runs giggling. After three months at home, he has been fitted for hearing aids in both ears.

“When they put the hearing aids in I wasn’t expecting him to hear anything. Snapping fingers, water—every little bit that he can hear is like a miracle to me.”

These aids work in preparation for the cochlear implants he will receive by April or May of 2007, the all important surgery which will effectively replace the nerve that was damaged upon his birth. Amazingly, Jack’s surgery is covered 100% by Heidi’s insurance and her employer is covering all deductibles.

Jack will have the opportunity to be everything he is meant to be.

“I’m looking forward to the day when Jack calls me ‘Momma’, but when that kid comes running across the room to give me a kiss, holding both sides of my face—that is better than any “Momma” word ever. We share a bond that is unbreakable.”

--Heidi Graser, MO
Written by Jennifer Newcomb, Children's Hope Communications Coordinator

Better with One Eye

We are the proud parents of three beautiful little girls. One of them is named Aliana Minfang. She was born in China, with two hands, two feet, two ears, but only one eye.

We had known for some time that we wanted to adopt a child. It was very clear to us—somewhere in the world a child was meant to be our son or our daughter. We were looking for a child that no one else wanted, for millions of children worldwide are not adopted because of age or medical conditions and our hearts lay with these orphans. These precious ones are known as Waiting Children.

During the four and half months of dossier preparation, a new list of Waiting Children of China was made available. We were drawn to Aliana, a 2 year old girl born without a right eye. She had been abandoned two days after birth, taken to an orphanage, and at 3 months of age transferred into foster care. No other prospective parents were reviewing her. Our excitement peaked!

We asked our pediatrician to evaluate her medical file. He cautioned, it was not uncommon when one or both eyes are damaged in utero for the brain to also be affected. This little girl could slide anywhere down the scale—she could be perfectly normal or developmentally disabled. Our doctor’s comments definitely brought us back to reality.

The medical information from China was insufficient to make a conclusion one way or the other. We were scared of the unknown and questions plagued us: What if she was mentally retarded or unable to live independently? Did the other eye have good vision? What was the long-term prognosis for her sight? Was she really meant to be our daughter?

We asked God for guidance and received an indisputable sign. I opened my Bible, after a day of fasting and praying, and my eyes immediately fell on a passage, Matthew 8:19-20 which begins, “It is better for you to enter life with one eye, than to have two eyes and be cast into darkness. Do not look down on one of these little ones, for I say to you that their angels look at them and continually see the face of My Father who is in heaven.” Well, I guess that took care of that—there was our sign!

We agreed to adopt Aliana. Although our fears were not laid to rest, we decided we did not need to be sure of our knowledge, but only of our purpose.

Nine months and five days after we submitted our initial application, we met our little girl. All our fears disappeared. I know every adoptive parent says this, but it is true—it was just obvious she was meant to be our daughter.

We had been afraid of the unknown. Once you are looking at a living breathing person, the abstracts go away; instead of a possible condition you see a child.

Now we are home. Aliana is a funny, loving, smart, stubborn, snuggly, and bouncy sweetheart of a girl. Her foster family did a wonderful job preparing her for the transition to her forever family. She has bonded beautifully with my husband and I, is imitating both the obedient and the mischievous actions of her siblings, and initiates play with all of us.

Aliana is an integral part of our family. We can't imagine having any other child in her place. Although, she will have ongoing medical issues with her missing eye, we will deal with those. We realize now, one never knows what will happen in any child’s future with certainty and that gives us peace.

--Velleta Scott, AR

The Scott’s intend to adopt another wonderful Waiting Child in perhaps 2 years (Velleta’s husband says 3). The Scott family includes two biological children Dorinda and Callista, ages 4 and 2 respectively. What can you as a family handle? In the next Children’s Hope International newsletter, lay aside your fears as you read about more family victories over medical issues.