Fears and Questions Disappearing: A Colombian Adoption Story

From the beginning of our adoption process, I could see the hand of God in every step. Nine months was the length of time it took until we met our children. College, career changes, purchasing of a new house, and finances all were orchestrated into perfect alignment before our trip to Colombia.

We had fears that I believe are common when adopting older children or siblings. How would they fit in to our family, would they like our dogs, already established behavioral issues, attachment, and much more. Even though many people were very supportive, we still heard our share of discouragement, “are you sure you want 3 at a time”, “older children are harder with adjustment and bonding and you should really consider all the baggage that comes with them.” We had to trust that it was all under control and that God had these children perfectly matched for us.

Then Julie called and said she had a 5 year old boy and his twin 3 year old sisters that were waiting and were we interested? It was a rare situation because there was no history, no medical evaluation, and no pictures of them. I asked her when she needed an answer; in 2 hours was her response! WOW my wife was at work, so we had to pray and decide over the phone quickly. With our stomachs in knots we said yes, really stepping out in faith that these were our children. When we were accepted to adopt them and were given pictures and their information, we were overwhelmed with love and joy. They were perfect, beautiful, and healthy. Four weeks later we were off to Medellin, Colombia.

The day we first held our children was a day that will replay in our hearts forever. I cannot tell you how perfect it all felt. All our fears, doubt, and questions disappeared. Their first touch was a breath of heaven. They were even more beautiful then we could have imagined and their smiles touched us with overwhelming happiness.

Our whole trip in Colombia was great, it is very beautiful and the people are very friendly. We were very sick most of the time, but were well taken care of. CHI’s team in Colombia are very special and they definitely go out of their way to complete everything needed to get you and your children home quickly and safely. They are indescribable and always managing to put you first.

Now we are home, our daily routine and playtime are eagerly anticipated every morning. From waking them up to share in quiet cuddles together to coming home after work and being greeted with hugs, “I love you daddy”, and all of them telling me about their day the best way they know how to, is my favorite. All the things we deem to be typical they find exciting and COOL! Like riding on my shoulders and dunking your cookies in milk. Plus my son saying “Mucho McDonalds in Oregon!” We all are doing well with our Spanglish.

Looking back now I can see if God would have just given in on my selfishness, anger and sadness every time my wife was not pregnant we would have missed the perfect children He had for us. So if I could just share for all of those who are still waiting with fears, and doubt about the whole thing just know that you have stepped into God’s perfect will and He will successfully bring you through to your child or children who He has given to you long before you ever thought about adoption. May you take this time and cherish it.

- Danial Taylor (and Vickie, Damaris, Camilo, Jesenia & Jessica), OR

Happy Together: A Colombia Adoption Story

We knew that our brand new sons were all boy the first night we got them, and boy did we learn to relax…FAST. We gave them their first bubble bath with bath toys at the hotel, and you would have thought they were in Disneyland. They were so full of energy and moving around so much that their heads were bouncing off the sides of the ceramic tub like ping pong balls and they never even flinched. As parents, we got headaches, just watching them, and learned to breathe.

Once home, who would have thought that we would find Jhon (then 7) at the very top of the tree in the backyard, make sure Cesar (then 3) didn’t eat the worms from outside, and make sure that Andres (then 14 months) quit riding the dogs like they were horses? There was a new adventure EVERYWHERE!

We were totally prepared for the trials and tribulations that being parents would bring, but could never have dreamed of the joy and entertainment that these boys brought. There is nothing more rewarding than watching Jhon reading a favorite book to his brothers, hearing
Cesar explain that he is the “medium” brother, or hearing Andres proudly introduce his brothers to complete strangers.

There isn’t a word to describe the feeling when being told by the boys that “Mama looks like a princess” or that they want to be strong like Papa when they get big. Now our lives are filled with soccer games, family boating trips, and science projects. Together we’ve mastered bike riding, Playstation, and the relationship between every super hero ever imagined. We are busy and healthy, affectionate and fun, blessed and happy—together. We just celebrated our 2 year adoption anniversary on August 16, 2007. Jhon is now 9 ½, Cesar is 5 ½, and Andres is 3.

—Anne Koch and husband Joe Loehmer adopted brothers Jhon, Cesar,and Andres from Colombia in August 2005.

God Was in Everything

It’s hard to believe that it has been two months since were first united with our children. Time has flown by! The experience we had in Florencia was unforgettable. To see the children whom we had been praying for, for years standing right before us was almost unbelievable…more than we ever imagined.

When we began the adoption process by mailing the Children’s Hope adoption application on August 31, 2006, our fifth year wedding anniversary, we began praying John 14:18 over our children. During our paper chase, we faced many obstacles and setbacks. In November, we experienced a life-changing event in our family that caused us to contemplate sibling group adoptions. My sister passed away at age 32, leaving two children behind. As we watched the children being shuffled from house to house staying with different relatives, we considered the impact of the separation on the children. We felt God leading us to pursue a sibling adoption. We continued the paper chase despite the despair and grief we were experiencing…throughout the chase Children’s Hope was there to cheer us on! We are so thankful for all the support and encouragement they extended to us through that difficult time.

Once our dossier was completed, we breathed a sigh of relief! However, we still needed about $12,000 to complete the adoption costs. We believe that if it is God’s will, He’ll foot the bill! And in the last month, before we left for Colombia we raised all the necessary money. We received money from complete strangers, from various fundraisers, and our church! God is faithful, and He knows our needs.

Within a month of sending our dossier to Colombia, we received word from Sara we should expect an “official referral” in 2-4 weeks for two boys and one girl. I laughed when I first saw the referral pictures of our sons…they look so much like Ben! Only God could make a match like that!

We were only given limited info about the children at this time. We began to research the area where we were to travel (Florencia). Caqueta, the state in which Florencia lies, was actually named in Voice of the Martyrs as one of the highly volatile areas in Colombia. Colombians and fellow church members began planting seeds of fear cautioning us of the potential danger. We embraced the idea that our Father was going to place us into such an area as they described, refusing to let the seed of fear take root and keep us from our children! It was awesome to see how God opened doors all around us as we traveled to this part of the country near the Amazon. At no time in Colombia did we ever feel unsafe.

We have been home over a month now, and we love being parents! We do have challenging moments confronting difficult behaviors, but those have lessened as our daily schedules have become more structured and routine. Andrew (5), Tatiana (3), and Diego (2) are adjusting well and love their new home and pets! The children have filled our home with love and laughter, and we look forward to growing with them as we plan for the future.

Some things we have found they love to do include: play in the water, school work, eat, play outside, go bye-bye & ride in their “special” car seats, climb all over Papi, go to church, and watch the “Raton!” (Stewart Little 2). Already Andrew and Tatiana are learning English and can count to 20! Diego loves his pets best; each day he “slimes” Obba, our cat, with a big sloppy kiss, and chases the dogs down to share kisses with them. The joy and love that these children have brought into our home is immeasurable. We are so eternally grateful to all those who played a part in making this possible for us. Thank you, CHI for being with us every step of the way!

It is so awesome to reflect back on how our story unfolded and how God was all over it! From the beginning when choosing our adoption agency to choosing a sibling group to raising money and so on…God was with us each step of the way! He is faithful to fulfill His word. We will continue to promote adoption and will highly recommend Children's Hope International, as we do believe that adoption is part of the heart of God, and Children's Hope is truly committed to finding homes for the orphaned children.

--Wendi and Benjamin, parents to Diego, Andrew, & Tatiana Wood (Mississippi)

More Than Genetics

Heartache, pain, rejection and disappointment filled our lives and our journey to parenthood from the time we were married. We had always wanted to have a family and eventually hoped for a large family. So when we received closed doors and unexplained reasons for not having a baby, our hearts were challenged and God began to move on our hearts. My wife had always had the God given desire to adopt children as long as she can remember, but me—I was the lone hold out. I was the selfish one; I wanted a little me in this world, like I wasn’t enough already. I was hurt that our family was not going to come from us. When I finally began to listen to God and my wife, we began the path to adopting. We fell in love with Colombia as a country and the opportunity for us to bring home a little baby boy.

Our paperwork moved rather quickly and we began to feel God opening our hearts to a sibling group of two; then one day Children’s Hope asked us, “Would you guys be open to a sibling group of three?” With a gulp and a time of prayer we found God saying to us, “I will give you strength, I will give you the skills, and I will walk beside you. ”

Four months ago we found ourselves celebrating our sixth anniversary in a foreign country, with three new children that had become part of our family. On our fifth anniversary our children were but a twinkle in our eyes and we knew very little about the foreign land of Colombia. We are now home and the proud parents of three Colombian children.

Colombia offered us many opportunities to enjoy getting to know the culture, share a meal in our translator’s home, and take our kids around to explore their beautiful country. The taxi cab drivers were all very professional; the hotel, very helpful; and the afternoon siesta, something I think we should adopt in the US.

Four months together and we spend most of our days laughing with them and at the funny things they do and how they have been able to get along so well. The doctor visits have been taken in stride, we have bandaged the skinned knees from falling while learning to ride a bike, and the first time our children had s’mores was on our Memorial Day weekend camping trip. Our little one has learned to say more two-syllable words and can now say sorry...when he wants to.

We see them learning the English language and growing more confident in their abilities each day. Just yesterday my wife brought my 6-year-old daughter in to my office because my daughter needed to hear that I will always love her and always be her papi. They bring joy to our lives and within the first few months of being together, we are slowly forgetting what life as a childless couple felt like. We are seeing God work in our lives and the lives of our children.

Now that I have two boys at home with me, I have begun to understand that not all similarities between biological children and parents are genetically transferred. We have felt God walking alongside us the entire way. We think back at the financial burden that this could have been and because God is God and He loves His people and calls them to give, we don’t have that financial burden, and we know that we are not deserving of His grace through finances but like a good father, He does always know what’s best. It has been a truly incredible ride that gets better with every twist and turn.

--Jose Huerta, husband of Megan and father of Luis, 8, Ana, 6, and Jeison, 4 (Kentucky)

Published in the Children's Hope Newsletter, Summer 2007

Colombia Here We Come!

When we stepped foot off the plane, I knew we had entered a different world. A world of strangers that spoke a language that we did not completely understand. A world of armed guards and cautious people. As we made our way through the airport, getting through customs and the baggage area, I wondered if Andres, our driver, would actually be there to pick us up. What if he forgot?

He was there, smiling and holding a sign that read “Howell.” You can’t imagine the relief to see a smiling stranger waiting to take us to our home for the next few weeks. Once we loaded up the car, we were on our way to El Refugio, a small bed and breakfast that caters to adopting parents. We reached El Refugio around 11:00 p.m. and went straight to bed.

Laying there in bed, I finally had time to stop and reflect on the day and what tomorrow would bring. Tomorrow I would be a mother. I would meet the little boy who I had prayed for and dreamed about for so many months. I would meet my little Jordi.

The morning finally came. What should I wear (like Jordi really cares what I am wearing)? What baby supplies should I pack in the diaper bag? What paper work do we need to bring? Oh my goodness, in a few hours I am going to be a mother!

Meeting Our Little Angel

David our young, friendly interpreter came to pick us up and drove us to ICBF (Colombian Institute of Family Welfare). Once we got through ICBF security I looked at my surroundings. It wasn’t exactly what I had in mind when I thought about meeting my son for the first time; it was just an office building. As I looked around the room we were waiting in I saw pictures of other families who had once been waiting in this room just like us.

My heart was about to pound out of my chest, when were they going to bring Jordi in? Did they change their mind? Had they forgetten our appointment? But they didn’t forget and they didn’t change their mind. The door opened and in walked a woman carrying our little baby. She handed Jordi to me and then everyone left the room except for our little family of three. I held him tight and started to cry. I looked up at Kevin and he had tears in his eyes. Jordi on the other hand was not crying, thank goodness. During the most intense, sentimental moment of our lives, Jordi felt that he should offer some comic relief. He spit up all over Kevin and me (I mean all over). When the ICBF staff returned, we were still trying to clean up.

The case worker explained Jordi’s eating and sleeping habits and asked if we had any questions. We then signed some papers and became the temporary guardians of Jordi Andres Vivas Cardenas.

On the ride back to El Refugio, Jordi slept in my arms (Colombia has no car seat laws). My dream of being a mother had come true.

Life in Bogota

So life was perfect. You would think so, but in reality it is scary to be a first time parent, much less in a foreign country. I was so happy to have Jordi, but I was also very homesick. I missed my family and friends. I wanted them to be with me. To help with Jordi and to give me advice on being a parent. Kevin was so strong; he kept our little family going. I was scared to be alone with Jordi at first. I had been around kids my entire life, but nothing prepared me to have one of my own. What if he cried and I couldn’t help him? What if I was not feeding him enough or feeding him too much?

As the days passed, we got into our routine. We started learning Jordi’s likes and dislikes and bonding as a family. I got to where I could call home without crying. And we started enjoying our surroundings.

We wanted to embrace life in Colombia while we were there which was easier for Kevin since I just wanted to take Jordi back to Fleetwood, North Carolina. We would take walks and play in the yard of the bed and breakfast.

Everyone at El Refugio was so caring and patient with our family. They helped me with Jordi and gave me emotional support. They went out of their way to make us feel at home. They even went all out for Thanksgiving (turkey, pumpkin pie, the works) even though we were the only American family staying there at the time.

The day finally came for us to go home. I was excited, but still sad to leave my temporary “family” at El Refugio and the country of Jordi’s birth. After saying our goodbyes we headed back home.

No Place Like Home

I had prepared for the worst when it came to Jordi’s adjustment to his new home, but luckily he had no problems. He showed no fear when family members crowded around him oohing and aahing. He loves to be around people, especially other children. He is showered with attention from the entire family, especially his grand parents and his Aunt Courtney.

Jordi turned one year old on April 21st. Of course we had a big party where he got way too many toys. As we held Jordi up to blow out his candles, tears filled by eyes. I had waited for a moment like this all my life. That moment, like many of the moments we have had with Jordi, was perfect. Everyone says that Jordi is so lucky to have us, but Kevin and I know that we are the lucky ones. We were given the blessing of being Mommy and Daddy to our precious little boy.

--Makisha Howell (wife to Kevin, mother to Jordi), NC

The Journey Home: A Colombian Adoption Story

What a journey it has been. Little did we know how our lives would be changed during the month of October 2006—the month we finalized the adoption of a Colombian sibling group of three. It has been a time of joy, confusion, fear, exhilaration, praise, blessing, and exhaustion. It has been worth it all. Our month in Bogotá was fantastic and the help and support from the Colombian staff was outstanding. Julie Eagleson, Children’s Hope Latin America Program Director, also came to town during our stay in Bogotá, and she was a tremendous help.

Upon returning to the States, we enrolled our oldest two, Cristian (9) and María (8), into school. We live near and enrolled in a Spanish immersion school to help them retain their language and help in their transition. Our family members keep wondering when the kids will be fluent English speakers. We remind them “in time, be patient” and that smiles, hugs and kisses say a lot even if they don’t know any Spanish.

It’s amazing to think that it has only been four months since we arrived back into the States with our children. It sometimes feels like they have been a part of us forever. We just fit together and truly believe this was all a part of God’s plan. At first we had our hearts set on a baby but felt God moving us in another direction, and we are so glad that we listened to His nudging.

Now, don’t get me wrong. Every moment is not perfect, and it’s not all hugs, kisses and laughs. But every temper tantrum, nose bleed, middle-of-the-night wake up call from a sick child, longer-than-needs-to-be cry, and so on, are all overtaken by the fact that these children are our children, and they bring out in us a love we have never experienced before. And, honestly, when I come home from work and my littlest runs up to me with outstretched arms and says, “Mommy!” and my oldest says, “Mommy, how was your day?” and my middle one gives me a hug and a kiss, nothing else matters in this world. Then at night when we go to bed and give each other hugs and kisses and say good night, again, nothing else matters. I am reminded how blessed we are to now have a family of five with the most beautiful children in the world.

--Aaron, Renée, Cristian, María, and Brigit Sweeden, Kansas City, MO

Published in the Children's Hope Newsletter, Summer 2007

Icing on the Cake

The greatest thing I’ve learned from the last year is that raising three children from a different world and culture without completely losing your mind is not possible without the grace of God. We wake every morning knowing we are human and rest every night knowing He is not and that He is with us.

John Paul is nine now and has been active at all times since we met him. He is constantly able to interject the subject of food into any conversation. He is extremely intelligent and was on the Honor Roll in his first semester at school. He plays soccer like a pro in the YMCA League and enjoys NASCAR and basketball as well. He reads books whenever he gets the chance, especially when he’s supposed to be doing homework or sleeping. He says he wants to be a teacher when he grows up, but doesn’t want a wife or children because, in his words, “children are too much trouble.” Very perceptive child…

Alisson, who is now eight, enjoys collecting live bugs and trying to sneak them into her room as pets. Her favorite toy is a bug vacuum cleaner. She loves to climb trees. She also loves music. She sleeps covered with stuffed animals and wants us to buy her the live equivalent of each one. I’m not sure where she plans to keep the bears… Pink is her favorite color and she likes to play dress up in Mom’s old gowns. She says she wants to be a house builder when she grows up.

Ethan is a five-year-old cherub who enjoys streaking about the house wearing only a smile. That smile could melt granite but won’t save him if he messes with my remote control again. He is continuously curious and can’t help but dismantle everything he gets his hands on. No interest in reassembly yet... He loves to ride his bike or scooter and loves to play basketball with the neighborhood kids. One night the prettiest five-year-old girl in the neighborhood ate pizza beside him and when she finished he looked at her and said those words every girl longs to hear… “Go wash your face.” What a charmer.

Collectively they are all taller and fuller. They no longer speak or understand Spanish though we are hoping they will relearn it later perhaps in school. Kimberly home schooled all three this summer to get them caught up with math and English (spelled s-o-u-t-h-e-r-n). Ethan has a pronounced drawl already. As with any sibling group they don’t always get along. Each wants all the attention they can get and are willing to do whatever it takes to get it.

As for Kimberly and myself, we have pulses and are breathing. Anything beyond that is icing on the cake. My job as a therapist requires me to try to get 13-15 people who don’t want to do anything to do things they see no reason to do. Kimberly’s job is different only in the number of people. How she does it and creates meals, does laundry, shops, oversees homework, and keeps herself pretty absolutely amazes me. Together we make a great team and are looking forward to many years of parenting these children, OUR children. We miss the news most nights because one or more of the kids is giving us the news from school or tattling on the others. But we really don’t miss the news of the world anymore because we have our own world now and we like it better than the old one.

Brian, Kimberly, John Paul, Allison & Ethan Hibbs, SC

Becoming a Family of Four

In July of 2005, our family traveled to Manizales, Colombia to adopt Andres (age 6). Our son Garrett, eight years old when we met Andres, made the trip to Colombia with us.

Almost from the beginning, and even before Andres could speak a word of English, the two boys pretty much acted like siblings who had lived in the same house all of their lives. It took them both about ten minutes to figure out how to push each other’s buttons, and we did our share of refereeing, both in Colombia and when we returned home. As time has passed, it has been gratifying to see the bond between the boys grow in small, subtle ways. Andres loves his big brother and often tries to do whatever he does (which usually drives Garrett crazy), and Garrett, although he loves to pester his brother at times, can also be a great role model and a gentle teacher.

Like Garrett, Nate and I have, little by little and day by day, grown accustomed to being a family of four. The boys have very different personalities, and it has taken us awhile to figure out that what might have worked with Garrett doesn’t always work so well for Andres. We often comment that sometimes we feel like we take one step forward and two steps back. We try to remind ourselves that Andres had six years of life experience under his belt when we met him, and that our expectations of him and our parenting styles are different from what he had known before. He is a sweet, personable kid who is eager to please and who seems genuinely happy to be a member of our family. We, in turn, have come to love and appreciate his sense of humor, his big smile, and his infectious giggle.

Our time in Colombia was a big part of Andres’ story, and I can’t imagine Garrett not being a part of it with us. We talk often about our journey, and will forever share a common experience that no one else can truly understand. The time we spent with Andres in Colombia, waiting for the adoption to be finalized, was a miniature cross-cultural immersion that helped us better empathize with him when we returned to the United States.

For those of you who may be considering adopting older children, we offer this thought: let love grow on its own timeline. Don’t be surprised if, in your first attempts at parenting a child who does not speak your language (and may not understand your noble attempts at their own), you aren’t overwhelmed with feelings of joy/love/contentment. For a while it may feel like you’re raising someone else’s kid. It’s a bit different than gazing into the eyes of an infant who just studies you and coos.

Overall, we have made great strides in the last few months toward feeling comfortable and content with our life as a family. To all of you who are just starting the adoption process or are preparing to travel soon, we hope and pray for you wisdom, strength, and perhaps even a sedate joy in your waiting.

The Frambach Family, IA
Nate and Diane
Garrett and Andres

Road to Motherhood

I have often heard mothers who have given birth say that once their precious baby is born and put into their arms, the pain of childbearing and the discomfort of the past nine months seem to wither away as they move forward with caring for their new little one. After a few months it becomes a hazy memory as they look into the eyes of the child they have created. In much the same way, adopting seems to have the same effect as well.

The pain and discomfort are certainly not physical. Lamaze classes and doctor’s appointments are substituted for psychological evaluations and the collecting of paperwork, background checks, and social worker visits. A trip to labor and delivery room is replaced with a trip to another country. And, instead of hospital ID bracelets, your passport is glued to your side at all times. However, every emotion of pregnancy is there. Instead of hearing the baby’s heartbeat for the first time, your own heart flutters as you receive the letter stating your paperwork is approved. The million trips to the bathroom are replaced with a million trips to the post office, notary public, and bank.

But once that little one (or older one) is with you, the world that was once filled with paperwork and waiting dissolves away as every ounce of your being focuses on the new person in your life.

I have been honored and blessed to be able to be a part of an adoption journey. People are sincerely interested and curious about how we were united with our Daniel. Had I given birth in the traditional sense, I would not have the opportunities to talk to so many people about adoption nor would I have been able to see so many friends and family provide us with the kind of love and support I never knew possible.

Yes, a part of me will always long to experience the blessings of childbirth. But through adoption, I have had the opportunity to experience creating my family in a truly unique fashion and I thank God every day. All the difficulties, challenges, and discomforts associated with adoption and the long waiting process were certainly worth it. Those memories continue to be replaced with joyous moments, as I am sure all mothers can attest to...no matter if they traveled the road of pregnancy or the road of adoption in order to get there.

“I guess the point truly is no matter how our families have come to be, there is always a struggle, hurdles to get over, the unexpected, the down right scary, and the anticipation of what is to come,” says Lisa. Experiencing life with Daniel from the moment of his referral photo to today as a two-year-old has made it all worthwhile.

--Lisa Rost, CT
The Rost Family: Bruce, Lisa and Daniel
Home from Colombia November 9, 2005