When adopting internationally, getting “the call” makes for a very memorable day. First you cry, then you ask for specifics about your child, then you call your spouse and/or family members and then you wait again. The referral package will come to you with wonderful pictures and medical information on your child. Whew!! Now that is over; when do I get to travel??
I can remember this day like it was yesterday. I received two ‘calls’: one when we adopted our first daughter from China in 1996 and then again when I adopted her sister in 1998. But this story is not about my ‘call’. On November 5, 2007, some very dear friends of mine got “the call”. Since they live in St. Louis, the whole family came into Children’s Hope headquarters to get their referral.
They did have to wait though. The medical had to be translated and other paperwork made ready before they could actually come in to see their beautiful daughter. It was only a couple of hours, but I am sure it seemed like a century.
How did this all start, you ask? Dear friends Karen and Curt Miller, along with their daughter Lauren, had just returned from China with their little girl and sister, Katie in May 2005. This family goes to my church and their daughter is in my daughter’s class. When they began their adoption process, the wait time from paperwork submission to referral was 6-9 months. Tom and Jeannette Eskridge were so smitten by Katie that they started the process, too. Tom and Jeanette have two sons, Kevin and Connor, and they wanted a little girl to complete their family.
For those who know, it’s not necessary to say - the wait time kept getting longer, longer and longer. I would see them at church and they would ask if I had heard anything. Even though I work at Children’s Hope International, I couldn’t tell them when they would get their referral - I did not know! Like Karen and Curt before me, I would have to say, “Just wait. God will bring your daughter when it is meant to be.”
I could always see the sad and frustrating looks on their faces when I told them this. When Tom and Jeanette started the process, the wait time was 7-9 months. Their paperwork was received and entered in China’s system on December 5, 2005. December 2006 came and went and they still had no referral. I think the wait for their baby sister was just as difficult for the boys. They were 9 and 12 years old when they began thinking about having a baby sister in the house, so they were old enough to have the same anticipation as their parents.It got to the point when the wait was almost unbearable since everyone always asks, “When will you bring your daughter home?” This question is always said with good intentions, but when you have lots of friends and family asking, it can seem like you get asked every 10 minutes. Tom and Jeanette decided to try and relax and not talk about it very much. This is the typical course of action if you want to keep your sanity while waiting.
The first Sunday in November, I attended a baby shower for the family along with lots of friends from church, the kids’ school, and her friends and family. Yeah, you can guess what everyone was asking: “When will you get ‘the call’?”
As it turns out - the very next day. On November 5, 2007, exactly 23 months from their paperwork submission to China, the Eskridges received their referral of their daughter Kayla.
I was so thrilled; I couldn’t wait for them to come in to see her picture. They pulled the boys out of school and came into the office to ‘get their referral’! As you can see in the pictures, it was exciting for everyone.
Tom, Jeanette, Kevin and Connor traveled to China over the Christmas holidays and came home with Kayla on December 29, 2007. Most people wouldn’t want to be away from their families at Christmas, but what better Christmas present could you have than to be finally holding your precious daughter that you waited so long for?
-- Pam Bischoff works for Children’s Hope International in
the St. Louis Office.
