Children's Hope International Family Story

Is Somebody Waiting for You?

2009-09-17T08:36:00.001-07:00

from Mary House, CHI Illinois Representative

IS SOMEBODY WAITING
FOR YOU?

The photos accompanying this
article show a few of our CHI placements who were promoted from "waiting children" to fine sons and wonderful daughters. None of these kids were babies when they came home. But now, all of them are laughing and learning and basking in the love of their adoptive families. They go to school, practice music, and play sports. A few of them even have jobs. In fact, one of our boys got married last year! We've been doing this since 1992, after all.

Children's Hope International is currently seeking suitable homes for 29"older" children from China. They are all waiting inShanghai. Most of these kids are 5 - 12 years old. Some of them have addressable medical needs. Some have already undergone corrective surgeries. A number of them have no medical problems - their only special need is that they are not babies anymore.

We expect other groups to follow as we find good homes for the children presently assigned to Children's Hope. Current CCAA rules require that adoptive families be married couples in good health. In most instances, the adopted child should be the youngest child at home. The CCAA tells us that they will consider parents over 55 for some of the older kids.

Now - click on the link to see the kids currently waiting to come home. Have your pencil and kleenex handy. Maybe one of these terrific kids will come home to you.

CHI CHINA WAITING CHILDREN

The Tea Party: Mom, Daughter, Mousie, and the Healing of a Broken Heart

2008-05-12T09:22:00.001-07:00

I wrote the beginning of this article several years ago, and have used it a few times in other places to describe the moment I realized I was parenting in deep water. Here, for Mother's Day, I also describe the meeting that followed...
By Jean MacLeod

"Mommy, why didn't I grow in your tummy?"

I looked my three-year-old daughter square in the face and gave her the speech that I had rehearsed in my head for as long as she had been mine. The speech was short, gentle and sweet. I told her about her birthmother in China, how much she had been loved and how much we loved her now.

"But, Mommy, why didn't she keep me?"

I took a deep breath and explained that I didn't know for sure, but that it might have had something to do with the China rule about having only one child. I described a few other possibilities and ended with my proclamation of faith – that we were meant to be a family, that I was sure that her birthmother wanted her to have a family for always, and wasn't it wonderful that we had all found each other to love.

Coming down from my poetic rhetoric, I smiled winningly at the tiny figure in overalls and waited for my hug and kiss. What I got: a look of icy outrage, arms folded in haughty disbelief, and an attitude that screamed "what a load of c***!"

I was unnerved. This was supposed to be a mother-daughter bonding moment where we celebrated becoming a family. A moment of sadness was allowed, but then things were supposed to be joyful and loving. Why was I feeling like I had tried to tell a sixteen year-old there really was a Santa Claus? And how could a three year-old see through all of my carefully worded, positive explanations? I believed what I was telling her about her birthmother... why didn't she?

She didn't because she had lived her story and somewhere, deep inside, she knew the whole truth. My "old soul" little girl understood that a happy adoption is built on a heartbreaking loss long before I did, and she was cutting me no slack.

Clearly, my daughter's birthmother wasn't going to be explained away. I slowly realized that I would be living with a powerful ghost of another mother, and that this ghost needed to be acknowledged, embraced, and disarmed. My daughter needed some sort of a relationship with her birthmother, and she needed me to have an understanding with her birthmother, too.

So, I invited my daughter's unknown, invisible, Chinese birthmother to tea.

Properly, of course, with a formal invitation dictated to me by my three year-old. In the backyard, we set up a child-sized table with three place-settings: tea-cups, cookie plates, and party napkins. Another tea-cup was quickly added for a favorite stuffed mouse who was a late RSVP. Lemonade tea was rapidly dispensed (formalities like small-talk pale with the preschool set when real teapot pouring is allowed), and we got right down to business.

"So, birthmother," I said to the empty chair to my right. "How are you doing" I'm thinking you might be missing your little girl. I know she misses you."

My daughter nodded, and I asked her if she had any questions for her birthmom.

"Why did you leave me?" she asked directly to the space occupying the third chair.

"Why did you leave her?" I echoed. "Was it because you couldn't care for a baby? Did you have "big person" problems? It was a very sad thing for your baby girl. I think it might have been a very sad thing for you, too."

My daughter nodded vigorously.

We continued to chat about our day, the vast amount of Oreos eaten by Mousie, and the birthmother's magical trip from China. But my daughter was unusually quiet.

"Is there anything else you would like to ask your birthmother?" I inquired, watching her carefully as I pretended to sip my tea. My daughter went completely still, and I guessed at what she needed to ask and what she needed to hear.

"Birthmother," I said. "We want you to know that you are always welcome in our home and in our hearts. You are part of our family. But your little girl is *my* little girl to raise, and she will live with me until she is big and is ready to leave. You cannot ever take her back to China. This is her home now, and I am her mom, and I love her very much."

Then I left my child-sized chair to put my arms around the little girl with the enormous feelings; it is overwhelming to deal with big grief and big relief at the same time. In voicing my daughter's secret hopes and fears I had validated her connection to two mothers, and had begun my own long process of learning to deal openly with the painful side of adoption parenting.

The ghost? She still lives with us, mostly peaceably, nearly ten years later. We've felt her genetic legacy, as my daughter leaped into puberty. We've seen visions of her in the mirror, as my daughter grows into a beautiful young woman. Our joint acceptance of the ghost gave my daughter some power over her past, and allowed me to view the birthmother as an ally, instead of an enemy, during times that adoption compounded the emotional turbulence of adolescence. The three of us exist together, but only I remember that the three of us once attended a symbiotical summit meeting in the garden, and that we officially sealed our forever relationships with a splash of tea, and cookies.

Copyright 2008, MacLeod, All Rights Reserved
Jean MacLeod is author of At Home in This World: a China Adoption Story, and co-editor of Adoption Parenting: Creating a Toolbox, Building Connections and mother of three daughters, two of whom were adopted from China through Children's Hope. From one adoptive parent to another, Jean shares her wisdom here in the monthly e-news and in the annual Children's Hope Newsletter.

Fears and Questions Disappearing: A Colombian Adoption Story

2008-03-07T08:31:00.000-08:00

From the beginning of our adoption process, I could see the hand of God in every step. Nine months was the length of time it took until we met our children. College, career changes, purchasing of a new house, and finances all were orchestrated into perfect alignment before our trip to Colombia.

We had fears that I believe are common when adopting older children or siblings. How would they fit in to our family, would they like our dogs, already established behavioral issues, attachment, and much more. Even though many people were very supportive, we still heard our share of discouragement, “are you sure you want 3 at a time”, “older children are harder with adjustment and bonding and you should really consider all the baggage that comes with them.” We had to trust that it was all under control and that God had these children perfectly matched for us.

Then Julie called and said she had a 5 year old boy and his twin 3 year old sisters that were waiting and were we interested? It was a rare situation because there was no history, no medical evaluation, and no pictures of them. I asked her when she needed an answer; in 2 hours was her response! WOW my wife was at work, so we had to pray and decide over the phone quickly. With our stomachs in knots we said yes, really stepping out in faith that these were our children. When we were accepted to adopt them and were given pictures and their information, we were overwhelmed with love and joy. They were perfect, beautiful, and healthy. Four weeks later we were off to Medellin, Colombia.

The day we first held our children was a day that will replay in our hearts forever. I cannot tell you how perfect it all felt. All our fears, doubt, and questions disappeared. Their first touch was a breath of heaven. They were even more beautiful then we could have imagined and their smiles touched us with overwhelming happiness.

Our whole trip in Colombia was great, it is very beautiful and the people are very friendly. We were very sick most of the time, but were well taken care of. CHI’s team in Colombia are very special and they definitely go out of their way to complete everything needed to get you and your children home quickly and safely. They are indescribable and always managing to put you first.

Now we are home, our daily routine and playtime are eagerly anticipated every morning. From waking them up to share in quiet cuddles together to coming home after work and being greeted with hugs, “I love you daddy”, and all of them telling me about their day the best way they know how to, is my favorite. All the things we deem to be typical they find exciting and COOL! Like riding on my shoulders and dunking your cookies in milk. Plus my son saying “Mucho McDonalds in Oregon!” We all are doing well with our Spanglish.

Looking back now I can see if God would have just given in on my selfishness, anger and sadness every time my wife was not pregnant we would have missed the perfect children He had for us. So if I could just share for all of those who are still waiting with fears, and doubt about the whole thing just know that you have stepped into God’s perfect will and He will successfully bring you through to your child or children who He has given to you long before you ever thought about adoption. May you take this time and cherish it.

- Danial Taylor (and Vickie, Damaris, Camilo, Jesenia & Jessica), OR

Reflections on God's Long Winding Road for a Family: An Ethiopia Adoption Story

2008-02-18T13:55:00.000-08:00

Paul and Deedra Mager will be traveling in Ethiopia beginning February 18, meeting and finalizing the adoption of their son Ashenafi. But before they left, Deedra paused, looking back on her journey to her fourth child who was waiting for her overseas.

Tonight I am feeling reflective of our journey to this point. I have not actually used this blog to journal many of my emotions regarding our story. I guess I was mostly just tracking dates and keeping in touch with my new friends in the blog-world! However, tonight, I just feel like I need to lay it all out there. So, here goes...

The Road Begins - International Adoption

Everything began when my sister and brother-in-law gave us some land (2 acres adjacent to their farm) so that we could build a house. Around that same time, our hearts were stirred for international adoption. Through a series of circumstances and much research, we decided in the spring of 2006, jointly, that we would all go together to bring home our new sons. We applied at Children’s Hope International into their Vietnam program and hoped to actually travel together.

My brother-in-law had the idea of selling the land to finance the bulk of both of our adoptions. We were totally on board, feeling like it was a huge gift, either way; and as we believed God was calling us to international adoption, it seemed like an answer to prayer. I felt so strongly God was going to have to finance this thing He was calling us to do, since we were already struggling to make ends meet due to lack of funds in my husband's ministry. With no savings and too much debt, we started down this road and downloaded the application from Children’s Hope.

The day I had to send off our $100 application fee, my husband ran into a local pastor friend at the gas station, both on their way to work. Our friend handed him a $100 bill and said he felt like God wanted to bless us with that. It was exactly what I needed that day and I had to worship, knowing that God was assuring me He would be there for whatever I needed each step of the way. So, after a bit, we sold the land (my brother and his wife actually ended up purchasing it!) and it was just in time for all our initial home study and government paperwork fees. So far, so good!

A Fork in the Road – Which Country?

When my sister and her husband decided to accept a referral for a baby from Guatemala, we were overjoyed for them and fell in love immediately with our new nephew. However, that left us wondering what we should do next. We looked into Guatemala a bit, but didn't feel that was the right door for us to walk through. I became increasingly uncomfortable with Vietnam, unsure I had heard the Lord on from which country we should adopt. We put our home study on hold. It was completely ready, just awaiting the country.

Throughout November and December I felt nothing. I was really praying, too! Finally, as January 2007 rolled around, I decided I had to put a deadline on things. I told the Lord that by the end of the month I would put something down and just send it in, regardless. The third weekend of that month I had a revelation as I was talking with my sister. She asked if I had noticed Children’s Hope was opening a new program for Ethiopia. I looked into it and immediately felt this was right. The needs of the country, the beauty of the children, the cost, the timelines, the short length of stay in country (since I had 3 children at home, this was important to me), and the excitement of being one of the pioneer families for the program were all perfect! We switched programs, sent off our home study and within one month had our 171-H form (INS clearance) - the same weekend of my birthday and the same weekend Children’s Hope received their licensing for Ethiopia!!!

I got to work on our dossier and made sure to submit it before we left on vacation in June. We were the 3rd or 4th family to submit a dossier. The first 2 families, requesting infant boys, and another family, requesting siblings, actually traveled before the courts closed in August. So, we were sure we were next on the list and would be receiving our referral any time and traveling by October at the latest. Well, that didn't happen. Several other referrals came through, but all for older children or siblings or infant girls. I was excited for all these families. However, I kept waiting for the call.

A Change in Direction

Finally, it came in October. We received a referral for an infant boy and were thrilled. However, we immediately realized we were going to struggle to get the necessary funds together for the country/referral fee. Several of our friends gave generously to us and one long-time friend of our family gave us a loan so that we could go ahead and process the referral to get on the list for a court date. God was good, once again!

I believed He would come through on the funds we owed to them, as well as the money it would take to travel. However, we had one setback in the plan. When our court date came the Tuesday before Thanksgiving, we found out the court had not ruled in our favor. For reasons I will not go into here, the court could not separate the baby from the birth family. We felt some loss with this news, obviously; but also felt that it was an answered prayer. We believe the court had ruled righteously in their decision and we tried to be at peace in that.

We were on hold again. Children’s Hope told us there was another infant, but could not give us any specific news yet until they finished the medicals and paperwork for him. We waited one month with no more information. Finally, on Christmas Day, the director of the program called and gave us the news! She emailed all the medicals, photos and background info on Ashenafi and we were overjoyed she would take time out of her holiday to do that for us. God gave us a beautiful Christmas gift! The baby was perfect!

The Guide Steps in With a Helping Hand

Now, we awaited a January 23 court date. This time everything went beautifully the first time through. Again, the hurdle of the finances came to weigh on us as we contemplated the cost of travel. As we were waiting for our official travel dates, we received a notice from Shaohannah's Hope (Steven Curtis Chapman's adoption-assistance organization). We were awarded a $3,000 grant!! (This is something we applied for in the early fall!) God is soooo good!!! Plus, my husband had a friend give us some money for our trip and a side job he was working was going to pay exactly what we needed for the hotel/food cost with enough to take some cash with us!

So, now, we are ready to go! I'm going to totally enjoy this experience and immerse myself into the culture of Ethiopia and loving on my baby!

All in His Perfect Timing: A Russia Adoption Story

2008-02-15T13:42:00.000-08:00

God’s timing is perfect. We knew that in our hearts, but it was hard to convince our minds sometimes while we were in the adoption process. A rollercoaster of emotions...our adoption story began in March 2006 after my husband and I attended an adoption seminar and felt in our hearts international adoption was the way we wanted to start our family. In November 2007 on our 8th wedding anniversary we got THE call. What a gift! An infant girl in Izhevsk, Russia, was ready for us to meet her. We would be the first family with Children’s Hope to travel to this region so there were many unknowns.

My husband and I packed our bags and went on the journey of a lifetime. In an orphanage in Votkinsk we met our precious gift. Her name is Ksenia. The orphanage director brought her in the room. She was smiling and looking around at all of the faces in the room. She was and still is a very happy child. My husband described her as beautiful and I couldn’t agree more. We only saw her for a couple minutes that day.

The first trip was very busy with documents and such, but we were able to visit with our daughter several times before we had to come home. It was so hard to say goodbye! The only consolation was that we could replay our camcorder and flip through photos of her, taking us back to when we were together.

We were home for exactly a week when we got the call that our court date was set. We couldn’t believe that our adoption was finally happening!

Our second trip went very well. We visited our daughter for a couple of days prior to the court hearing. To our delight she remembered us from the first trip and it felt like we hadn’t been apart. She was babbling more this time and was crawling even faster.

Court was long, but the outcome was all that we wanted to hear – that she was officially our daughter. After the court hearing the judge who seemed to be pretty harsh during the process, said the books are closed for this hearing and then I couldn’t believe what she said next. She said:

"People do not believe in miracles anymore, but they still happen. This is the first of many miracles for your family. December will be a celebrated month as it is your husband’s and daughter’s birthdays, your adoption day, and Christmas. Winter will be special for you as New Year’s is in January as well as your birthday. Miracles still happen.”

In my heart, I felt like that was not the judge’s words, but our heavenly Father answering our prayers.

The next day we were able to finally hold Ksenia in our arms, not to say goodbye, but to be able to take her with us. Our flight home was five days before Christmas. What a Christmas gift! We are so blessed. We celebrated Ksenia’s first Christmas in our hometown of Fort Worth where she met many of her family. We also were able to celebrate her first birthday as a family in our home in El Paso. God’s Perfect Timing. We couldn’t have dreamt for it to be better. During the process, my adoption consultant shared this scripture with us and it was something that we drew strength from: I Samuel 1:27 – “I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of him.”

It has been two months now that Ksenia has been home with us and we don’t remember how life was without her! She is a beautiful, happy 13-month-old who loves to sing, dance, and be outside when the sun is shining.

Everyday is a new adventure with her. We learn something not only about her, but also about ourselves. Everyday we thank God for her. Our prayers have been answered in ways we couldn’t have imagined.

--Danielle Riddle, TX

Danielle and her husband Jason adopted 1-year-old Ksenia from Izhevsk, Russia, in November 2007.

The "Call": A China Adoption Story

2008-01-15T13:18:00.000-08:00

The anticipation can be excruciating. You hurry, hurry, hurry to get all your paperwork completed for your very important dossier and then you wait…wait and wait some more.

When adopting internationally, getting “the call” makes for a very memorable day. First you cry, then you ask for specifics about your child, then you call your spouse and/or family members and then you wait again. The referral package will come to you with wonderful pictures and medical information on your child. Whew!! Now that is over; when do I get to travel??

I can remember this day like it was yesterday. I received two ‘calls’: one when we adopted our first daughter from China in 1996 and then again when I adopted her sister in 1998. But this story is not about my ‘call’. On November 5, 2007, some very dear friends of mine got “the call”. Since they live in St. Louis, the whole family came into Children’s Hope headquarters to get their referral.

They did have to wait though. The medical had to be translated and other paperwork made ready before they could actually come in to see their beautiful daughter. It was only a couple of hours, but I am sure it seemed like a century.

How did this all start, you ask? Dear friends Karen and Curt Miller, along with their daughter Lauren, had just returned from China with their little girl and sister, Katie in May 2005. This family goes to my church and their daughter is in my daughter’s class. When they began their adoption process, the wait time from paperwork submission to referral was 6-9 months. Tom and Jeannette Eskridge were so smitten by Katie that they started the process, too. Tom and Jeanette have two sons, Kevin and Connor, and they wanted a little girl to complete their family.

For those who know, it’s not necessary to say - the wait time kept getting longer, longer and longer. I would see them at church and they would ask if I had heard anything. Even though I work at Children’s Hope International, I couldn’t tell them when they would get their referral - I did not know! Like Karen and Curt before me, I would have to say, “Just wait. God will bring your daughter when it is meant to be.”

I could always see the sad and frustrating looks on their faces when I told them this. When Tom and Jeanette started the process, the wait time was 7-9 months. Their paperwork was received and entered in China’s system on December 5, 2005. December 2006 came and went and they still had no referral. I think the wait for their baby sister was just as difficult for the boys. They were 9 and 12 years old when they began thinking about having a baby sister in the house, so they were old enough to have the same anticipation as their parents.

It got to the point when the wait was almost unbearable since everyone always asks, “When will you bring your daughter home?” This question is always said with good intentions, but when you have lots of friends and family asking, it can seem like you get asked every 10 minutes. Tom and Jeanette decided to try and relax and not talk about it very much. This is the typical course of action if you want to keep your sanity while waiting.

The first Sunday in November, I attended a baby shower for the family along with lots of friends from church, the kids’ school, and her friends and family. Yeah, you can guess what everyone was asking: “When will you get ‘the call’?”

As it turns out - the very next day. On November 5, 2007, exactly 23 months from their paperwork submission to China, the Eskridges received their referral of their daughter Kayla.

I was so thrilled; I couldn’t wait for them to come in to see her picture. They pulled the boys out of school and came into the office to ‘get their referral’! As you can see in the pictures, it was exciting for everyone.

Tom, Jeanette, Kevin and Connor traveled to China over the Christmas holidays and came home with Kayla on December 29, 2007. Most people wouldn’t want to be away from their families at Christmas, but what better Christmas present could you have than to be finally holding your precious daughter that you waited so long for?

Congratulations to my dear friends!

-- Pam Bischoff works for Children’s Hope International in

the St. Louis Office.

A Merry Christmas to All

2007-12-25T12:56:00.000-08:00

During our 2.5 year wait for Nate, the holidays were the hardest for me. I kept thinking, "Will this be the year we get to see Christmas through the eyes of our child?" The answer was always "no"...until this year. We have much to be thankful for and the biggest thing is bundled in a 23lb package. This is how God answered our prayers for a child...

You prayed for help when we found out we needed $15,000 in adoption fees. He answered your prayers by providing us over $16,000 in just 3 months! He went beyond that by bringing many people together during the fundraising weeks.

You prayed that our baby would be healthy. Through Children’s Hope, God gave us a BEAUTIFUL, healthy 10-month-old boy. He is in the 90th percentile for height, is average weight for his age and the worst he had was a little cold.

You prayed that he would adjust to his new life easily....God answered you by helping Nate bond to his dad immediately and adjust to his new home within 3 weeks. He never had night terrors or bad reactions to new food... He enjoyed being with us and has slept through the night since day one.

You prayed that WE would adjust to our new life as parents... God gave us an easy child...a fast learner who helped us get into a routine quickly, professions that allowed us to be with him, and understanding/ patient friends and family who helped us during those crucial first few weeks.

Even through the long wait, Nate came to us at the right age, at the right time in our lives. Any sooner and we would not have received him. Not that we wouldn't have been happy with another baby...but we are glad that we have our son. He was worth waiting for.

I am so excited about Christmas this year. As I was unpacking all our decorations, I came across the stocking holder that we had bought over 2 years ago for our expected child. Each year it sat up on our mantel empty, but this year, it will hold our new son's stocking of goodies.

He is the best Christmas gift we could have ever received. And because of that, we named him Nathaniel, which means "Gift of God".

--Don & Denise Sullivan, AZ

Pictured on the left: the Sullivan's son Nathaniel. Pictured on the right: Denise Sullivan as a baby in 1968, during her first Christmas. “Now, almost 40 years later, my son gets to celebrate his. And wouldn't you know it? They still make those little Santa suits.”

Executive Summary: Almost Home From Russia

2007-12-20T08:24:00.000-08:00

Greetings from Moscow! The Chaffin family arrived this morning from the overnight train from Cheboksary. It is odd to think that coming to Moscow is one step closer to home. We have gotten to know little Mitchell Anton better, and he us. We have had an enriching cultural experience as we eat where Russians eat, shop where Russians shop, go to Internet cafes Russians frequent, etc. After getting the U.S. Embassy immigration work done this week we will be flying home on Sunday the 23rd as planned and take our tour of Red Square tomorrow.

After my last update, several of you suggested that in lieu of the Twelve Days of Christmas, Ward and I were experiencing the Twelve Days of Mitchell Anton as we waited out the court's mandatory holding period in a hotel with a two-year-old. So, without further adieu, I give you the Twelve Days of Mitchell Anton:

Day 1 - one little boy in the family. This was a quiet day at the hotel, where we learned about each other and how to play with our new toys.

Day 2 - two new parents and Mitchell Anton is going a little easy on us, seemingly happy just exploring the hotel room and hallway, and eating hotel food without complaint.

Day 3 - three soiled onesies. Yes, we are 3 for 3 in destroying each outfit worn every day. We bundled up and ventured outside but for only a few minutes, as it is very cold.

Day 4 - four fabric blocks. Earlier this week, Ward bought Mitchell Anton some fabric blocks at the nearby Mega Mall. Today we strapped him in the Baby Bjorn and walked to the mall. He was unfazed and we were thrilled to get out of the hotel.

Day 5 - five stacking rings. Today Mitchell Anton found his voice. His babbling is newly incessant and even loud at times. Most of it is in conjunction with horseplay, literally. He got a toy horse in his first McDonald's Happy Meal.

Day 6 - six ounces of milk. Mitchell Anton drank a small glass of milk today, and seemed to like it so we'll try more soon. This was another quiet day as we happily contemplated that we reached the halfway point of our Russian adventure and have less than a week before we return to Moscow.

Day 7 - seven times a day on average that one of us says "Ya Ni Pinimayo Parrusske," meaning "I don't understand Russian." Then we either point, pantomine or smile dumbly.

Day 8 - eight hours in a regular workshift. Ward and I now do everything in shifts. We eat in shifts, we dress in shifts. However, this shift runs 24/7. The good news is that Mitchell Anton is acting like a normal two-year-old. The bad news is that he is acting like a normal two-year-old.

Day 9 - nine times the same waitress has waited on us at the hotel restaurant. It is called Star Magazine and the food is good.

Day 10 - ten degrees Farenheit has been the average temperature excluding wind chill while we've been in Cheboksary, or at least it feels that way. As Lena, our driver, said in a most understated fashion, "It is very cold in Russia."

Day 11 - eleven points awarded for miracle shot. In basketball, a shooter gets 1 point for a free throw, 2 points for making a shot, and 3 points for a made shot beyond a certain distance. Since it is Day 11 Ward and I decided to award Mitchell Anton 11 points for his shot whereby he flung a piece of bread into my beer mug at dinner tonight. It was an amazing shot. We had authentic Russian cuisine at a restaurant NOT in our hotel to celebrate our last night in Chuvashia (Ward says thumbs up on the borscht).

Day 12 - twelve days of waiting at an end. We are thrilled to be traveling to Moscow tonight after the adoption court documents are processed, but it is bittersweet for MA as he is leaving the place of his birth.

We will let you know that we have safely arrived home, still planning on the 23rd in the evening on Delta. Blessings to you all as you prepare for Christmas.

--Lynn, Ward, and Mitchell Anton Chaffin, currently in Russia, soon home to Tennessee

Daddy's Girl: Attachment and China Adoption Story

2007-11-11T08:25:00.000-08:00

We had waited almost two years for this moment. I was only able to sleep for a few hours the night before. My husband Lance, our 9-year-old daughter Madeleine, and I were in Changsha, China to hold our little Leah for the first time.

After a twenty minute bus ride, we arrived at the Changsha Adoption Center. We were ushered into a large waiting room where all of our adoption group took seats around the perimeter of the room. Soon after, Chinese women carrying babies began coming in the door. As our adoption coordinators started calling family names, I looked across the room and saw a woman holding Leah.

I recognized her instantly from her referral pictures. As we waited for our name to be called, I was brought to tears as others in our group received their babies. When our name was finally called, Leah was brought to us by her nanny and handed to me.

Leah immediately started bawling. After about fifteen minutes of hard crying, she fell asleep in my arms. Our joy was slightly clouded as we watched the display of grief in Leah’s nanny. She could not stop crying as she watched us with Leah. We were told that she and Leah were strongly attached.

When we arrived back at the hotel room, Leah had awakened and was crying again. In the next two hours, she latched on to Lance, and would not let him go. She would not let me hold her or come close to her. I was not at all prepared for this rejection. I had never even considered it as a possibility. I told myself that all would be well the next day.

After a night of sleep, she once again only wanted Lance. We had to make another trip back to the Adoption Center to take our oath and legalize the adoption. It was hard to watch all the other moms holding their babies in the lobby, on the bus and at the Center, while I could only watch Lance hold Leah. When we returned back to the hotel, I was an emotional disaster. On top of my sadness, I began to feel a little angry at the situation.

How could this happen? How could my baby not want me? I had already successfully mothered Maddie, whose love for me is immeasurable. How could this happen?

That night I knew I needed help, so I made a long distance phone call to Brenda Barker, the Southeast Director of Children’s Hope. She explained to me that Leah was rejecting me simply because I was a female. Leah was not ready to trust another woman, given that the female she had always loved and trusted had just left her. Lance was different from her nanny on all counts, so Leah felt that maybe he was a safe bet.

Brenda told me what to do to get in Leah’s good graces. I should be the one to do the fun things, the things that she liked. If there were things that she didn’t like, let Lance handle those. She wanted me to always be the one to feed Leah, even if Lance had to hold her while I fed her. Lastly, Brenda said that we would see a different girl in three days.

She was right…each day Leah looked less sad, cried less and allowed me to get a little bit closer. By the end of the week, we were starting to see Leah’s happy personality shine through. Her eyes came alive. Leah then finally allowed me to hold her. It was pure heaven!

By the time we came home, I felt rather foolish for having worried. Lance had been so wonderful through it all. Leah is now playful, silly, bright, sweet and very loving but most of all we are grateful that Leah had a nanny who loved her fiercely and who taught her how to love.

--Amy Wilson, Tennessee

Happy Together: A Colombia Adoption Story

2007-11-05T08:13:00.000-08:00

We knew that our brand new sons were all boy the first night we got them, and boy did we learn to relax…FAST. We gave them their first bubble bath with bath toys at the hotel, and you would have thought they were in Disneyland. They were so full of energy and moving around so much that their heads were bouncing off the sides of the ceramic tub like ping pong balls and they never even flinched. As parents, we got headaches, just watching them, and learned to breathe.

Once home, who would have thought that we would find Jhon (then 7) at the very top of the tree in the backyard, make sure Cesar (then 3) didn’t eat the worms from outside, and make sure that Andres (then 14 months) quit riding the dogs like they were horses? There was a new adventure EVERYWHERE!

We were totally prepared for the trials and tribulations that being parents would bring, but could never have dreamed of the joy and entertainment that these boys brought. There is nothing more rewarding than watching Jhon reading a favorite book to his brothers, hearing
Cesar explain that he is the “medium” brother, or hearing Andres proudly introduce his brothers to complete strangers.

There isn’t a word to describe the feeling when being told by the boys that “Mama looks like a princess” or that they want to be strong like Papa when they get big. Now our lives are filled with soccer games, family boating trips, and science projects. Together we’ve mastered bike riding, Playstation, and the relationship between every super hero ever imagined. We are busy and healthy, affectionate and fun, blessed and happy—together. We just celebrated our 2 year adoption anniversary on August 16, 2007. Jhon is now 9 ½, Cesar is 5 ½, and Andres is 3.

—Anne Koch and husband Joe Loehmer adopted brothers Jhon, Cesar,and Andres from Colombia in August 2005.

A Tomboy Gets Her Boy

2007-11-25T08:02:00.000-08:00

“I’d always wanted a little boy, ever since I was a little girl. I was a tomboy and always into sports,” says Lori Willis of her decision to adopt Jonathan as a single mom.

While Lori was in the process of adopting Jonathan from Russia, she eagerly anticipated playing with and getting to know him. When she brought him home to Texas in 2005, he was just shy of 2 years old. “He’s into all boy things—trucks, wrestling, sports, riding his bike—and he’s not afraid of anything.”

“We just recently went to a carnival, and even though he’s now only 3 years old, he rode in the haunted house with his grandpa; his 9-year old niece wasn’t about to set foot in there! At the kiddy-land water park, he went down the adult slide with me. We went down three times in a row!”

“He’s a real jokester. He’s cute and he knows he’s cute. He loves to perform—but only when he wants to, not when I want him to.”

“He’s a very good boy, and very wellmannered. I am teaching him to say please and thank you. Sometimes he needs to be corrected, but he is a very good boy. In two weeks we will be celebrating 2 years together—he’s been the joy of my life!”

—Lori Willis adopted Jonathan from Russia in November 2005.

Pictured: Jonathan Willis is one special guy. When not showing his love for superheroes by pairing Spiderman pajamas with a Batman costume, he’s on adventures at the Children’s Museum and Sea World with his mom Lori in their home state of Texas.

Iliya’s (and Mommy’s) First Days of School

2007-12-05T07:44:00.000-08:00

A hesitant little boy walks in the classroom with his mother holding his hand. He is the first child in the classroom that morning and his mother helps him take his raincoat off. He looks at his teacher, back at his mother, and—realizing that he is here to stay again—his face crumples. His mother bends down to give him a hug.

Mother: It’s okay, you will only be here for a little bit and then mommy will come back to get you. I think you will have fun playing with your new friends. Now...give mommy a kiss.
Boy: (blows kiss at his teacher)
Mother: (laughs) You’re such a cute & silly boy! Alright, now, tell mommy ‘bye-bye’!
Boy: (waves at the teacher) Buh-bye.

That was our morning; Iliya really was ready to go on to work with me and not stay with his teacher. However, that wasn’t an option. Adopted from Russia in July 2007, Iliya was not too keen on leaving his new mama every day. So I gave him one last kiss and a hug before leaving him with his teacher to get acclimated to his classroom. I made my way back to my office and down to the business of wading through more emails and papers that had accumulated in my maternity leave. It was a fairly calm (and productive) morning at work.

The rooms of our daycare are equipped with state-of-the-art observation booths, complete with one-way glass and a listening system. Using the booth as my shield, I checked on Iliya once that morning. After playing in their big multi-purpose room, his class was back in the classroom, and he seemed to be doing okay.

The newness seemed to be a little stressful for him—he would play for a couple minutes, become serious, cry for a few seconds, play for a minute, be serious for a few seconds, play, cry...and so on. But his cries didn’t seem to be a really tearful cry; he just really had his serious face on when I was observing for those few minutes. His teachers were paying attention to him—talking to him and engaging him in play.

When I went to pick Iliya up after his lunchtime, most of the other kids were napping, and he caught sight of me as I walked through the door. He grinned the biggest grin, called out to me, and began dancing in circles before running up to me. It was precious. But I had to tell him to “shh...” because all the other children were trying to sleep!

As the week progressed and Iliya realized the permanence of school, drop-offs became a little more difficult before they got better. Although he didn’t want me to leave in the mornings, he would calm down rather quickly and would be so excited to see me in the afternoons—a sign of his solidifying attachment.

We have thoroughly enjoyed having Iliya in our family. He is a blessing to us in so many ways—ways in which we never imagined! As it turns out, child care has been a good thing for our family. My husband and I are both able to work in jobs we enjoy while Iliya is also playing hard and improving his social and language skills. We have a great child care team working with our family. And most of all, we have a God who is good, looking out for us every day.

--Melissa Bridges, Alabama

A Bigger Plan, God's Hand: A Russia Adoption Story

2007-11-22T07:37:00.000-08:00

We have truly seen the hand of God at work in our lives. In 2002, after only two years of marriage, Jeff and I learned that having biological children would be nearly impossible. The day we received this news we felt that our lives would never be complete; little did we know that God had a much bigger plan.

During the summer of 2004 God began preparing our hearts for international adoption. It seemed that everywhere we looked we saw couples in different stages of the adoption process. Each time we talked to one of these couples God dealt with our hearts and gradually opened both of our hearts to adoption. By the fall of 2004 Jeff and I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that our first child was waiting for us in Russia. We had no idea how we could afford to adopt internationally but we believed that God would provide a way. Although we were scared to death about the financial aspect of adoption we stepped out in faith and began our adoption journey. Many times throughout the adoption process God showed us that His hand was on our journey as He blessed our finances.

Jeff and I had decided when we began the adoption process that we would be open to a child of either gender that was under the age of two. Although I knew I could love a son as much as a daughter, in my heart I dreamed of having a daughter. I never fully verbalized my desire to have a daughter but God knew my heart. I also longed to have a tiny baby so that I could rock her to sleep, hear her first words, see her first step, etc. We fully expected to become parents to a boy since more people seem to request girls.

On August 18, 2005 we were notified by our social worker that we had a daughter waiting for us in Tver, Russia. I could hardly believe the words I was hearing…a daughter!!! The initial information we received was that the referral was for a little girl who was nearly 2-years-old. We were also told that she had been classified as special needs. When we learned why she was classified as special needs we knew immediately it was something we could handle and we immediately told our agency we would like to travel to Russia to meet this little girl. My heart was floating for a week because God had seen the secret desire of my heart, a precious little girl. The following week we received a surprise phone call from our social worker. They had received additional information about our daughter. Somehow a mistake had been made and we found out that our soon to be daughter was actually only 10-months-old and she only weighed 9 pounds. Once again God saw the desire of my heart. I was going to be the mom to a tiny baby girl. I wouldn’t miss any of her ‘firsts’.

In September 2005 we traveled to Russia to meet our precious daughter. When we arrived in Tver we learned that our daughter’s given Russian name was Natalia…which is very similar to my name!! We spent two wonderful afternoons at the baby home getting to know our daughter. We fell in love immediately and couldn’t wait for our final trip to Russia to make her our daughter forever. On November 11, 2005 we were legally declared the parents of Alexandra Natalia and we were allowed to pick her up from the baby home the following day.

Since that day in November our life has been filled with so much joy because of Alexandra. We have rocked her to sleep, we have heard her first words and seen her take her first steps…all of the things we longed to do as first time parents!

In 2002 we had no idea why God would allow us to experience the pain of infertility but today we understand that without infertility we would have never explored international adoption and we would have never found our beautiful Alexandra. We feel so blessed that we were chosen to become parents through international adoption; it has been the journey of a lifetime. Thank you so much for helping us make our dreams and the dreams of so many others come true!!

--Natalie Morris, MO

(Jeff and Natalie Morris adopted Alexandra Natalia Morris from Tver, Russia in November 2005)

Karina, a Waiting Child

2007-10-18T12:58:00.000-07:00

As a single parent, ready to embark on my second adoption journey, I knew I had a long, emotional road ahead of me. My son Mitchell, adopted at birth 12 years ago, was 11 when I asked him how he would feel about adopting a little sister. I knew if he wasn’t 100% ready, I wouldn’t be able to proceed. We talked about the pros and cons of having a sibling and what it would mean to our family. Mitchell decided he wanted to sleep on it before giving me his final answer. The next morning his first word was “YES”!

With my son as my main support, I completed the application for the Kazakhstan program through Children’s Hope International and we waited for approval before telling the rest of the family our plans.

Depending on which country is chosen, the wait for your referral can be excruciatingly long. I tried to prepare everyone for the long wait but after just a couple of months, the “Have you heard anything?” started. Mitchell was hoping his sister would be home by Christmas, but the holidays came and went without word. I knew our paperwork was making its way around the world but the waiting became harder and harder to bear.

Soon after we became a part of the Children’s Hope family, I had access to the Waiting Children website. This allows you to see some of the “hard to place” children. Although I had requested a child with only mild medical issues (preferably healthy), it became a daily ritual to view the children posted on the website. In January 2007, it finally happened. There was a picture of a tiny and frail little 13-month-old girl. The short description of her said: “difficulty of movement in her left leg”. The pictures showed her standing and receiving help as she tried to walk.

Something tugged at my heart, and I immediately sent an e-mail to Children’s Hope requesting her medical information.

Reviewing a Medical, a Life-Altering Decision

After a very long wait (it was only two weeks!), I received a one page medical. Her name was Karina and she was born on November 7, 2005, premature, although it was unclear as to how premature. When she was 7-weeks-old, she was taken to the Baby House of Taldykorgan. I later found out she weighed only 2 pounds at birth and was so frail when she reached the orphanage, they didn’t think she would make it. The report mentioned a few medical problems but didn’t give a real diagnosis on anything. I discussed her medical at length with both Jeff Morris and Anna Rister of Children’s Hope, with my son’s pediatrician and with my family. It’s so hard to know what to do without having the child in front of you to hold and observe. I listened to everyone’s thoughts and opinions and decided to just follow my heart—I knew I had to bring her home.

After making such an important decision, we then had to wait a couple more months to receive our travel dates. This process can really test ones strength and patience!

Once we arrived in Taldykorgan, we had one day to rest before the big day. Our CHI representative, interpreter and driver were with us the whole day as we met the officials of the city before receiving permission to visit the Baby House.

When we arrived, we were escorted to a room to wait some more, until finally Olga, our Children’s Hope representative, brought Karina to meet us. I had heard a lot of different things about what to expect during the first meeting but nothing really prepares you for it. Mitchell and I sat on the floor looking at her in Olga’s arms and she intently stared back - no tears. I guess she decided we were safe because when Olga put her down, she crawled right over to us and started touching Mitchell’s face and then my own. After that first moment of hesitancy, it was as if she had known us forever. We started our 14 day bonding period right then and it didn’t take long for her to become excited when she saw us walk in and then start to cry when it was time for us to leave.

Our three week trip turned into six. For those six weeks we went to the Baby House twice a day to visit with Karina and the rest of the babies in her group. Both Mitchell and I became attached, not only to Karina but to the other babies as well. All their faces would light up when they saw Mitchell walk in—they knew it was play time! They were always happy and laughing when we were there and Karina loved being able to play with the others while we were there to watch and join in.

After our court date, we went to say our goodbyes to Karina. I knew she didn’t know what was happening, but we did and it was very hard knowing it would be four to six weeks before I could bring her home. On June 22 we arrived home...and she has been ruling the household ever since!

I took her to the pediatrician the first week home and then to an orthopedic doctor to find out what was wrong with her leg. Guess what? Her left leg works just like the right leg and she is not only walking on her own but she is now running! Both doctors have declared her healthy other than needing to catch up with regard to her height and weight. She is still very tiny but she doesn’t notice it and thinks she is one of the big kids.

At Home with a Family

Karina loves pre-school and is coming up with new words every day. She has a wonderful relationship with her brother and they love to make each other laugh. Her new extended family gives her undivided attention and she has become quite the “showboat” when all eyes are on her.

I hope that anyone that is thinking of or is in the process of international adoption knows that it is a long, emotional and sometimes rough road but when you meet your son or daughter for the first time, all of the waiting and emotional highs and lows that you have experienced slip away and quickly become a distant memory.

There isn’t a day that goes by when I don’t think of all the babies we left behind. I hope and pray it doesn’t take long for them to find their forever families. Keep looking at the Waiting Children’s website while you wait for your paperwork to be processed—your son or daughter could be there waiting for you!

--Brenda, Mitchell & Karina Brewer, California

God Was in Everything

2007-09-17T12:31:00.000-07:00

It’s hard to believe that it has been two months since were first united with our children. Time has flown by! The experience we had in Florencia was unforgettable. To see the children whom we had been praying for, for years standing right before us was almost unbelievable…more than we ever imagined.

When we began the adoption process by mailing the Children’s Hope adoption application on August 31, 2006, our fifth year wedding anniversary, we began praying John 14:18 over our children. During our paper chase, we faced many obstacles and setbacks. In November, we experienced a life-changing event in our family that caused us to contemplate sibling group adoptions. My sister passed away at age 32, leaving two children behind. As we watched the children being shuffled from house to house staying with different relatives, we considered the impact of the separation on the children. We felt God leading us to pursue a sibling adoption. We continued the paper chase despite the despair and grief we were experiencing…throughout the chase Children’s Hope was there to cheer us on! We are so thankful for all the support and encouragement they extended to us through that difficult time.

Once our dossier was completed, we breathed a sigh of relief! However, we still needed about $12,000 to complete the adoption costs. We believe that if it is God’s will, He’ll foot the bill! And in the last month, before we left for Colombia we raised all the necessary money. We received money from complete strangers, from various fundraisers, and our church! God is faithful, and He knows our needs.

Within a month of sending our dossier to Colombia, we received word from Sara we should expect an “official referral” in 2-4 weeks for two boys and one girl. I laughed when I first saw the referral pictures of our sons…they look so much like Ben! Only God could make a match like that!

We were only given limited info about the children at this time. We began to research the area where we were to travel (Florencia). Caqueta, the state in which Florencia lies, was actually named in Voice of the Martyrs as one of the highly volatile areas in Colombia. Colombians and fellow church members began planting seeds of fear cautioning us of the potential danger. We embraced the idea that our Father was going to place us into such an area as they described, refusing to let the seed of fear take root and keep us from our children! It was awesome to see how God opened doors all around us as we traveled to this part of the country near the Amazon. At no time in Colombia did we ever feel unsafe.

We have been home over a month now, and we love being parents! We do have challenging moments confronting difficult behaviors, but those have lessened as our daily schedules have become more structured and routine. Andrew (5), Tatiana (3), and Diego (2) are adjusting well and love their new home and pets! The children have filled our home with love and laughter, and we look forward to growing with them as we plan for the future.

Some things we have found they love to do include: play in the water, school work, eat, play outside, go bye-bye & ride in their “special” car seats, climb all over Papi, go to church, and watch the “Raton!” (Stewart Little 2). Already Andrew and Tatiana are learning English and can count to 20! Diego loves his pets best; each day he “slimes” Obba, our cat, with a big sloppy kiss, and chases the dogs down to share kisses with them. The joy and love that these children have brought into our home is immeasurable. We are so eternally grateful to all those who played a part in making this possible for us. Thank you, CHI for being with us every step of the way!

It is so awesome to reflect back on how our story unfolded and how God was all over it! From the beginning when choosing our adoption agency to choosing a sibling group to raising money and so on…God was with us each step of the way! He is faithful to fulfill His word. We will continue to promote adoption and will highly recommend Children's Hope International, as we do believe that adoption is part of the heart of God, and Children's Hope is truly committed to finding homes for the orphaned children.

--Wendi and Benjamin, parents to Diego, Andrew, & Tatiana Wood (Mississippi)

More Than Genetics

2007-09-16T12:04:00.000-07:00

Heartache, pain, rejection and disappointment filled our lives and our journey to parenthood from the time we were married. We had always wanted to have a family and eventually hoped for a large family. So when we received closed doors and unexplained reasons for not having a baby, our hearts were challenged and God began to move on our hearts. My wife had always had the God given desire to adopt children as long as she can remember, but me—I was the lone hold out. I was the selfish one; I wanted a little me in this world, like I wasn’t enough already. I was hurt that our family was not going to come from us. When I finally began to listen to God and my wife, we began the path to adopting. We fell in love with Colombia as a country and the opportunity for us to bring home a little baby boy.

Our paperwork moved rather quickly and we began to feel God opening our hearts to a sibling group of two; then one day Children’s Hope asked us, “Would you guys be open to a sibling group of three?” With a gulp and a time of prayer we found God saying to us, “I will give you strength, I will give you the skills, and I will walk beside you. ”

Four months ago we found ourselves celebrating our sixth anniversary in a foreign country, with three new children that had become part of our family. On our fifth anniversary our children were but a twinkle in our eyes and we knew very little about the foreign land of Colombia. We are now home and the proud parents of three Colombian children.

Colombia offered us many opportunities to enjoy getting to know the culture, share a meal in our translator’s home, and take our kids around to explore their beautiful country. The taxi cab drivers were all very professional; the hotel, very helpful; and the afternoon siesta, something I think we should adopt in the US.

Four months together and we spend most of our days laughing with them and at the funny things they do and how they have been able to get along so well. The doctor visits have been taken in stride, we have bandaged the skinned knees from falling while learning to ride a bike, and the first time our children had s’mores was on our Memorial Day weekend camping trip. Our little one has learned to say more two-syllable words and can now say sorry...when he wants to.

We see them learning the English language and growing more confident in their abilities each day. Just yesterday my wife brought my 6-year-old daughter in to my office because my daughter needed to hear that I will always love her and always be her papi. They bring joy to our lives and within the first few months of being together, we are slowly forgetting what life as a childless couple felt like. We are seeing God work in our lives and the lives of our children.

Now that I have two boys at home with me, I have begun to understand that not all similarities between biological children and parents are genetically transferred. We have felt God walking alongside us the entire way. We think back at the financial burden that this could have been and because God is God and He loves His people and calls them to give, we don’t have that financial burden, and we know that we are not deserving of His grace through finances but like a good father, He does always know what’s best. It has been a truly incredible ride that gets better with every twist and turn.

--Jose Huerta, husband of Megan and father of Luis, 8, Ana, 6, and Jeison, 4 (Kentucky)

Published in the Children's Hope Newsletter, Summer 2007

Shared Heritage

2007-09-01T11:42:00.000-07:00

Just like all the other children in his hometown, Rob Slaubaugh was a “farm kid.” Growing up on his family’s wheat farm, just south of the Canadian border in northern North Dakota, meant working alongside his dad in the frigid north winds of winter and in the heat of the long days of summer. He loved his family and he loved his life on that farm; “I can’t think of a better place to grow up,” Rob said. It was a life that started out in a much different land.

Tami Herman grew up in the Midwest, the daughter of two educators. She, too, has fond memories of her childhood in smaller communities of central and eastern Missouri. And like Rob, Tami was displaced from her birth country.

It was in early 1974, only a few months after they were born, Rob in Saigon and Tami in Southwest Vietnam, that they were flown to the United States, like hundreds of other babies in war-torn Vietnam, to be adopted into their new families. During his childhood, Rob says there wasn’t another “Asian kid for two counties.” He vividly recalls, however, a time when playing high school basketball, his team met another school team that also had a boy of Asian descent.

“My parents were good at helping me understand my culture,” Rob said. “Mom would even occasionally cook Vietnamese food.”

Tami was in more of a culture battle with her mom. She wanted to blend in and not be “singled-out”, while her mother attempted to keep Tami’s birth heritage alive. “I hated the Asian dolls given to me and even threw away some traditional dresses that came with me from Vietnam,” Tami remorsefully remembers.

A huge point of contention surfaced when her mother insisted that Tami attend a playgroup for Asian children. Tami was pushing against her past. But it is that past that brought about a wonderful future for another orphan from Vietnam.

As she matured in high school and college, Tami started embracing her heritage. And in late 2005, at 32-years-old, she and her husband Jason decided to start a family.

“It was a natural for us to pick Vietnam. It allows us to celebrate and continue my heritage,” Tami said. She felt she would make the perfect parent for a Vietnamese child who needs a home.

About that same time, Rob and his wife Amanda were making the decision to adopt from the country of his birth. By the end of 2006, both Rob and Amanda and Tami and Jason received their referrals—a baby in Vietnam was waiting for both couples.

Rob read in the referral how his new son was abandoned at birth in a Ho Chi Minh City (Saigon) hospital just like him. Tami, meanwhile, would be traveling to an orphanage in Kien Giang Province in southwest Vietnam to adopt her new daughter. This was close to where Tami was born.

In late April, both couples traveled to Vietnam.

Tami and Jason were accompanied by Tami’s dad, Larry David.
“We stopped by the orphanage our first evening to see Olivia,” Tami said. “She cried the whole time in my arms. When I took her home the next day, then it sunk in. All these emotions were running through my head… She was so precious.”

On the same day, up in Ho Chi Minh City, 2 ½-year-old Benjamin Slaubaugh was reluctantly meeting his new parents for the first time. “I was a little worried about what kind of emotions would surface when we arrived in Vietnam to adopt our baby,” Rob said when contemplating the similarities of how their lives began. “We share where we came from and an understanding that God had a plan for us. My parents prove that you don’t have to have the biological ties to be a strong family.”

The Herman homecoming, 13 days later at St. Louis’ Lambert Airport, was a flashback for Tami’s dad. It was 33 years ago, in that same airport, that he held Tami for the first time when she was escorted to the United States from Vietnam. She was 3-months-old.

“My mother is still so excited. Everyday she says, ‘We are so blessed. We have two beautiful girls from Vietnam. How special is that?’”--written by Cory Barron - Children's Hope Int'l

Published in the Children's Hope Newsletter, Fall 2007

"The Call", Waiting for a Sister and a Daughter from China

2007-08-23T12:01:00.001-07:00

Two years ago on April 18th, our phone rang with some of the most wonderful news! It was referral day for our family and several others...on this day we first heard about a little baby just 10-months-old waiting for us in Fuling, China—a city we had never heard of, but now knew held a very special piece of our hearts.

It was the day before my husband’s birthday and I was home checking emails when I started to notice referral announcements starting to come. I called him and told him that he might want to come home a little early. Although he didn't make it before the phone call, both of our sons were here and very excited about their new baby sister.

Dianne Atteberry from the Kansas City office, as soon as I picked up the phone, said, “IT'S A GIRL!” She shared with me the beautiful name given to our daughter—Fu (name from the orphanage, means blessed) Ai (love) Yu (canopy of heaven). Our daughter’s name truly means what we felt then and what we still feel now....blessed, loved under the canopy of heaven!

From that amazing day until now, I have seen a very beautiful, quiet little baby turn into a beautiful, very talkative, very active little girl. We have been blessed to have seen and experienced a lot of her "firsts"—her first time crawling, her first steps, and her first words. I tell people often that I am so amazed at what she has been able to do in just a little over a year and a half. She can crawl, walk, jump, talk, color, sing, eat, play with EVERYONE, almost completely dress herself, put her shoes on the correct feet, go potty and she thinks she is a third grader! She goes into her big brother’s class and they have a chair her size, she hangs up her coat, and sits down waiting for the pledge and then proceeds to color or read a book. If we happen to be there when it is time to take the class to the restroom or go out for recess or lunch, she will line up just like them. It is very fun to watch!

I hate that we missed the first smile, the first tooth, the first roll over and the first time she sat up by herself, but truly feel blessed to have experienced everything else! To CHI, thank you doesn't seem to be enough to say to each of you for helping us bring our daughter home! Our family is complete and we are blessed to have had such wonderful people holding our hands and walking with us through this process.

For those of you waiting for "the call", it will come!!! I'm sorry each of you has to wait so long, but know that it is so worth it!

--Crystal Kovach, MO
The Kovach's blog: http://afterchina.blogspot.com/

Top 10 Things Learned, First "Mama-versary" for Russia Adoption Family

2007-08-17T10:59:00.000-07:00

Last year on this date we arrived home with Delaney! What an incredible year with an incredible baby girl! Within about 30 minutes of being home, she had toys and shoes everywhere, tried to open the kitchen cabinets, hugged/tugged the cat, re-programmed the remote and made herself right at home. I can't imagine life before she came!

To those of you waiting...your adoption will happen and you will be with child soon!

Top Ten Things I Have Learned as a Mom ~ Year One

Anything you SAY can and will be repeated.
Baby proofing? HA!
Any toy or object can and will be used as something other than its original purpose.
Cats don't like to drink from a sippy cup.
Anything you DO can and will be repeated!
Two year olds like to lock doors.
Every word to every Wiggles song, every word to every Ralph song, the entire Sound of Music score, the entire score to Mary Poppins, every note to the Jeopardy theme, and all the words to Three Dog Night's "Joy to the World".
Broccoli has excellent trajectory.
A bath can bide you enough time to make a phone call and/or have a glass of wine!
No matter how it is said, whined, shouted, screamed, yelled, whimpered, whispered...."Mommy" is the sweetest word in the world!!!

--Cynthia Ramsel, CA

(Left) One year after Delaney became Cynthia's daughter through Children's Hope International adoption, they celebrated their "Gotcha Day" with swimming at a kids-only water park. Afterwards, Cynthia gave her this turtle sandbox gift. It was a huge hit!

A Daughter Who Knows Who She Is

2007-05-14T10:39:00.000-07:00

May is a special month for me. Not only is it Mother's Day Month, but it is also "gotcha" month for us. This is our fourth year with our special daughter, Gracie Jo-Ning Bryan, whom we adopted from the Hunan Province of China. We have talked about adoption and told Gracie the story of how we got her since she was about 2 years old. Last week, I saw how much that talking has paid off.

Gracie attends preschool at the local elementary school and a little girl in her class told her that I wasn't her "real mommy". Gracie very kindly replied, "Oh, yes, she is my real mommy... Another lady in China had me in her tummy and she couldn't take care of me, but loved me so much that she let my parents adopt me!" The little girl continued to argue with her, but Gracie never got upset, nor did she back down. In line for school the next day, she asked the little girl to talk to me about the previous discussion. She even tried to argue with me, but we both stayed calm, smiled and moved on.

My daughter really knows who she is...and can handle comments with grace and I am so thankful. She understands now that some people just don't "know".

I think our reactions to situations will truly influence how our children react. Education is such an asset...even if you think they can't understand. My four-year-old acted very mature in this case!

Attached is a photo of us the first summer we had her, a photo with her favorite blanket that we gave her the night we got her and a photo of her simply enjoying the wind in her face!! For those of you waiting, it is so worth it!!!

--Gracie's Mama, Amy Bryan Rhett, Amy and Gracie Bryan, TN

Colombia Here We Come!

2007-06-27T12:34:00.000-07:00

When we stepped foot off the plane, I knew we had entered a different world. A world of strangers that spoke a language that we did not completely understand. A world of armed guards and cautious people. As we made our way through the airport, getting through customs and the baggage area, I wondered if Andres, our driver, would actually be there to pick us up. What if he forgot?

He was there, smiling and holding a sign that read “Howell.” You can’t imagine the relief to see a smiling stranger waiting to take us to our home for the next few weeks. Once we loaded up the car, we were on our way to El Refugio, a small bed and breakfast that caters to adopting parents. We reached El Refugio around 11:00 p.m. and went straight to bed.

Laying there in bed, I finally had time to stop and reflect on the day and what tomorrow would bring. Tomorrow I would be a mother. I would meet the little boy who I had prayed for and dreamed about for so many months. I would meet my little Jordi.

The morning finally came. What should I wear (like Jordi really cares what I am wearing)? What baby supplies should I pack in the diaper bag? What paper work do we need to bring? Oh my goodness, in a few hours I am going to be a mother!

Meeting Our Little Angel

David our young, friendly interpreter came to pick us up and drove us to ICBF (Colombian Institute of Family Welfare). Once we got through ICBF security I looked at my surroundings. It wasn’t exactly what I had in mind when I thought about meeting my son for the first time; it was just an office building. As I looked around the room we were waiting in I saw pictures of other families who had once been waiting in this room just like us.

My heart was about to pound out of my chest, when were they going to bring Jordi in? Did they change their mind? Had they forgetten our appointment? But they didn’t forget and they didn’t change their mind. The door opened and in walked a woman carrying our little baby. She handed Jordi to me and then everyone left the room except for our little family of three. I held him tight and started to cry. I looked up at Kevin and he had tears in his eyes. Jordi on the other hand was not crying, thank goodness. During the most intense, sentimental moment of our lives, Jordi felt that he should offer some comic relief. He spit up all over Kevin and me (I mean all over). When the ICBF staff returned, we were still trying to clean up.

The case worker explained Jordi’s eating and sleeping habits and asked if we had any questions. We then signed some papers and became the temporary guardians of Jordi Andres Vivas Cardenas.

On the ride back to El Refugio, Jordi slept in my arms (Colombia has no car seat laws). My dream of being a mother had come true.

Life in Bogota

So life was perfect. You would think so, but in reality it is scary to be a first time parent, much less in a foreign country. I was so happy to have Jordi, but I was also very homesick. I missed my family and friends. I wanted them to be with me. To help with Jordi and to give me advice on being a parent. Kevin was so strong; he kept our little family going. I was scared to be alone with Jordi at first. I had been around kids my entire life, but nothing prepared me to have one of my own. What if he cried and I couldn’t help him? What if I was not feeding him enough or feeding him too much?

As the days passed, we got into our routine. We started learning Jordi’s likes and dislikes and bonding as a family. I got to where I could call home without crying. And we started enjoying our surroundings.

We wanted to embrace life in Colombia while we were there which was easier for Kevin since I just wanted to take Jordi back to Fleetwood, North Carolina. We would take walks and play in the yard of the bed and breakfast.

Everyone at El Refugio was so caring and patient with our family. They helped me with Jordi and gave me emotional support. They went out of their way to make us feel at home. They even went all out for Thanksgiving (turkey, pumpkin pie, the works) even though we were the only American family staying there at the time.

The day finally came for us to go home. I was excited, but still sad to leave my temporary “family” at El Refugio and the country of Jordi’s birth. After saying our goodbyes we headed back home.

No Place Like Home

I had prepared for the worst when it came to Jordi’s adjustment to his new home, but luckily he had no problems. He showed no fear when family members crowded around him oohing and aahing. He loves to be around people, especially other children. He is showered with attention from the entire family, especially his grand parents and his Aunt Courtney.

Jordi turned one year old on April 21st. Of course we had a big party where he got way too many toys. As we held Jordi up to blow out his candles, tears filled by eyes. I had waited for a moment like this all my life. That moment, like many of the moments we have had with Jordi, was perfect. Everyone says that Jordi is so lucky to have us, but Kevin and I know that we are the lucky ones. We were given the blessing of being Mommy and Daddy to our precious little boy.

--Makisha Howell (wife to Kevin, mother to Jordi), NC

We Are the Lucky Ones!

2005-12-18T12:51:00.000-08:00

It's five o'clock in the morning, and our house is quiet and still. As I sit folding laundry, I lovingly glace up at the portrait of our three beautiful daughters hanging on the wall. As I look at it, I have a difficult time remembering what our lives were like before them.

The journey to become the fortunate parents of these three children began in 1998 when we contacted Children's Hope International. We quickly began the process to become the parents of Grace Meiying Callesen (now 7). We brought Grace home in 1999. We soon realized our family was not yet complete, and we once again began the adoption process.

In 2001 we traveled to China to bring our second daughter Sophia Mei Di home (now 5 years old).

Our lives were full and happy but somehow we always had the feeling someone was missing from our family. CHI once again assisted us in bringing our youngest daughter Ava Lian Margaret home in 2004 (Ava is now 3.).

International adoption is a very complex process. CHI has the ability to take this very complex process and make it virtually seamless. From the very beginning, working with Marianne Adams, our adoption coordinator, we felt a sense of confidence and ease. We had frequent contact and updates regarding the process of our adoption. Once in China we were met by employees of the CHI branch in China. They accompanied us the entire trip. We felt secure and informed. The staff was extremely knowledgeable regarding the adoption process. We were supported in every way imaginable. When we left China we felt we were leaving friends!

We are always perplexed when people approach us and tell us how lucky our children are. Our response is always the same, "We are the lucky ones!"

Our children are thriving. They are all incredible little beings. They are inquisitive, intelligent and beautiful...but most of all they are loved.

--Mark and Heidi Callesen, Arizona

A Part of the Family: China Adoption Story

2006-03-31T12:38:00.000-08:00

Two years ago Jia Li became a part of our family. We flew to China on May 17th and on May 23, 2005 Jia Li was given to us to make our forever family. It seems strange for two reasons. First it was like only yesterday that we were in China and making our way to the adoption center… I can remember the waiting (two minutes) that seemed like hours. I remember our eyes meeting and whispering to her that we had waited a long time for her to come to us. The second thing is that as it is only two years; it seems like Jia Li has been here forever. We are truly blessed to have such a wonderful child.

We could not image our lives without her. And in the same respect we think what did we do before getting her? Jia Li is our treasure and we do just that... TREASURE her.

And so on the GOTCH YA DAY of MAY 23, 2005 it is that day we became a forever family. Since that day Jia Li has become an amazing little person. Her insights, her thoughts, her words and her love have grown day after day. Jia Li has helped us become better people…. So join us in saying a special thank you prayer to God for giving us a wonderful little girl with a heart of gold…

--Marybeth, Jimmy, and Jia Imsho, Staten Island, NY

Happy Family of Four, Russia Adoption Story

2007-01-15T13:38:00.000-08:00

We feel so fortunate to have the boys as part of our family and it's still hard to believe they are really here - in our house.

Things are starting to level off at the Cramer house. The boys have adjusted wonderfully and were back on their orphanage schedule within five days of their arrival. The only real stressful part still is meal time. Food still freaks them out. Sometimes it's peaceful, and other times (like today at lunch), it's rather high pitched. Amazingly, they are already using the potty (when I put them on it, because they can't walk yet or tell me when they have to go). At nap time, they put their heads down immediately (I mean IMMEDIATELY) when we put the pacifier in their mouths. They dance at the start of almost any sound, including the power drill and Bruce pounding on the piano (he doesn’t know how to play).

They already know how to do "high five", clap when I yell "YEAH!", and they understand “no-no” pretty well, too. Everyday it gets better. You should see how cute they play together. It is as if they have a dimension of their own that no one else can see.

--The Cramer's, MN

No Barriers to a Call: A China Adoption Story

2007-06-10T09:47:00.000-07:00

Seeing beyond himself into God’s plan, Chris Crabtree chose to follow and found a piece of his family puzzle over a thousand miles away.

As much as I enjoy my comfort zone, I am aware of the fact that I cannot grow while living within one. I began praying for an opportunity to respond to God’s call the way Peter did when Jesus walked by and said, “Follow me.” He gave me what I asked for in a way I could never have imagined.

Our family was in a groove. My life was in a good groove. I was getting back to my songwriting. Our oldest daughter, Madi, was responsible enough now that I could leave her home alone and go ride my bicycle for an hour or so. I like that a lot! We had found our comfort zone and the furthest thing from my mind was having another child.

Then, a series of coincidences too numerous and profound to ignore began to occur. I started to feel a nervous sense of something larger than me beginning to uproot my sense of what my life was and would become. I was scared. Were they just coincidences, or was God trying to get my attention?

I came up with a plan to get myself off the hook: tell my wife Yvette and my daughter Madi that I thought God might be telling me he wants us to adopt. I’d take my tongue lashing, put it out of my mind, go ride my bike and go on with life as if nothing had ever happened. You see, they think I’m crazy, so I figured they would say, "You are crazy, now go lie down while we call the loony wagon."

Instead, Yvette said she’d been thinking of adopting for a while but thought I would think she was crazy. Madi said, “Yeah, let’s do it I’ve been wanting a sister for a really long time!” Funny, I have always teased her about having another kid and she has always begged me not to. The Spirit moves in mysterious ways.

I was truly frightened by this turn of events. Why? Because now there were no barriers to this idea going forward. All that was left was either action or inaction.

Mostly, there was inaction for a while. Sure, I realized how amazing all these coincidences were, but I did not see a clear directive from God in them. I am completely selfabsorbed. As such, I didn't want to think about doing something difficult. I didn't want to think about the possibility
that God wanted me to do something specific.

I left it alone and did not think about it until listening to a sermon. The pastor mentioned that, as believers, we are adopted into God's family. Suddenly I remembered Jesus' words that whatever we do to “the least of these”, we do to him. Okay, so you want to know if adoption is God's will? Add those two thoughts up. What does your math tell you?

Ultimately, we three decided to adopt, but were confronted with all these questions: how old; boy or girl; domestic or foreign, if foreign, what country? Madi wanted a sister closer to her age, someone she could relate to. She is a bright, talented eleven-year-old, whose ideas and insights we value highly. She is such a brilliant writer that she is the one that should really be writing this article. If we were going to bring another person into our family, it seemed only natural that she would share in all the decision making. Besides, we had no real preference and thought it would actually be nice to not have to deal with diapers again. So we asked for an older child.

Then, we found out you can get expedited if you ask for a child over seven. Still, we waited a long time long enough to almost forget we were adopting. Then, Christmas Day, we met Xiaolan. What an amazing day that was. I, for one, was really calm. I had no expectations. Whatever walked through that door was going to be okay with me. Well, maybe I did have one expectation: for months I had been praying for God to prepare our hearts for Xiaolan and hers for us. If I had an expectation, it was that he would answer that prayer. I thought my estimation of God and his power was pretty big until Xiaolan came into our lives. Her joining our family was like cars merging on the freeway. She fit right in. It felt right. It felt great.

God has answered our prayers for her beyond anything I’ve ever encountered—beyond anything I’ve ever imagined. I cannot begin to tell you—or even to completely fathom—how blessed we are. For instance, Madi and I are incredibly silly people who love to tease each other.

We used to say we felt sorry for whoever her sister ended up being because we would be too much for her. We can be a handful. Turns out, Xiaolan is more than a match for the two of us. She is a total scamp!

We play our daily game of “You are a ____” where we run through just about every noun she has learned in English. She is learning so quickly that this is turning into a long game, indeed. Saturday mornings, she loves to wake me by tickling, cuddling and manipulating my face into as many strange contortions as she can. Since she is nuclear powered, she never gets tired of this. Eventually, I have to make my escape so I can get some breakfast.

Is it all good? No, but what is the ratio of terrific to terrible in your relationships with others? With Xiaolan, I’d say it’s 98% terrific to 2% terrible. That’s about the highest ratio of any of my relationships. It has been an incredible adventure so far, and we are just at the beginning. Speaking of beginning, I have to get started on my new groove. I have a song to write and
a bike to ride before the girls get home from school. Maybe I should start lobbying Congress to make school go year round...

--Chris, Yvette, Madi, and Gracie Crabtree, Fairway, KS

Published in the Children's Hope Newsletter, Summer 2007